this was only the second time i haven't been with my family for Thanksgiving. the first was four years ago when i was in Canterbury, England. they don't have Thanksgiving in England. they don't even sell canned pumpkin innards. however, i was with a good amount of American foreign exchange students, and the Uni (Canterbury Christ Church University) was very supportive, so i had a Thanksgiving dinner against all odds. we even brought non-US citizens along... somewhere, I have a video of Sarah Vitty attempting to sing the Star Spangled Banner...
so. two days off work, coupla thousand miles from home, what to do.
i had options, but i'd sorta avoiding committing. it was Thursday, and I was in class outlining the homework on the board for the last week. it went something like this:
Friday - review
Monday - test
Tuesday - ch 23 read summarize annotate
Wednesday - ch 24
Thursday - foodfamilyfootballican'tgohome
i didn't really plan to write the "homework" for Thursday, i just decided to, then i thought it would be funny to keep going. you know, a pathetic-cry-for-help type funny. and i was right, my 7th graders thought it was hilarious (i've recently become aware that they don't really think i'm funny, just strange. well, a few in each section think i'm really funny, and the rest don't get my humor, or, they get it and think it's weird. so, basically the same as the rest of the world. but that's a different post).
then, as you might expect, i had a student invite me to his family's thanksgiving. i said thanks, but i'll be okay. i have a few offers.
next day. my daily "duty" (have i mentioned this?) is from 7:30 - 8 a.m. every day in the "multi-purpose" room, monitoring dozens of 5th graders as they're waiting for school to start. i've only recently started befriending them (it's way funner to interact with students you DON'T teach), and a girl i knew came up to me.
"my brother invited you to our Thanksgiving yesterday, and my mom wants me to tell you that you're really invited."
i was surprised, and i thanked her and said i'd think about it. stalling. it would be weird to take that offer, right?
next day. soccer game. the same kid's parents approach me. re-invite me. by this point i'm seriously considering it.
by Sunday i'd decided to go. i'm weird. i don't really know this family, but they were having 10+ family members over, they are really involved at the school, and believe it or not, this particular student is one of my problem students. he's smart, but he gets in trouble a lot. my 8th-grade self identifies with him, but my life now would be easier if we got along better.
i went. obviously when there's no precedent it's impossible to know what to expect, and it didn't go as expected, but it was good. i talked to the parents about Hillsdale a little bit, about Great Hearts a little bit, i compared college adventures with a few relatives, and i beat my 7th grader at darts and promised his 5th-grade sister to start a weekly poker game in the multi-purpose room. his dad was amused that i pretended to bet a letter grade on his next test over the outcome of the 49ers/Ravens game; his mother wasn't.
overall it was a good day. Scottsdale's head football coach invited me to play football in the morning with his high school buddies, and i hung out with a few other teachers after my big dinner.
my family has the big Thanksgiving dinner on Saturdays, since my dad almost always is working in the Emergency Room on the actual holiday. as a result, it was much lonelier to be in Phoenix Saturday than it was Thursday. three weeks until i'm going home! i promise i won't let any students convince me otherwise...
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
expectations matter.
we live in a complex world. it's a world where each individual action can affect countless other actions, and the sum of those actions define the world we live in, and its future. i'm fascinated by this (how could you not be?), and it's a big reason why i love economics.
though the consequences of human action are intricate, the complexity becomes exponentially* greater when you realize physical "action" isn't even necessary in order to have an impact. your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations can impact your environment. there is a good deal of evidence that a lack of "trust" is the reason the U.S. recovery from this recession has been so slow. the rules (laws) of the game (life) have changed so much, and continue to change, that the resulting "Regime Uncertainty" results in inaction. inaction doesn't spur economic growth. why would i buy a new car now if i suspect another "cash for clunkers" program in the near future? why would i hire another employee if the new health insurance laws are impossible to understand? in both these cases, and many others, it makes sense to wait. and, unfortunately, it's a case where the individual benefit is in opposition to the country's benefit.
*i've observed that Tom winces when people misuse the idea of exponentiality, so i make an effort to do it frequently (along with a long list of other 'triggers'...an infinitely long list). in this case though, i think it's literally applicable.
<flash to Tom imagining someone rubbing the words "exponentially greater" on their shoulders and arms (literally 'applying' them, like sunscreen), cause that's totally what he's doing right now>
i love making connections to sports.. imagine a football game where the rules can change at any time. would it be a game that is full of beautiful plays and complex offensive schemes? or would it be ugly, lack innovation, tend to be conservative, and at times simply be painful to watch? our economy is no different. unless you have a reliable and clear incentive structure, you will be hesitant to act, and when you do act you will be very risk-averse.
one of the major factors that determines investment and future inflation is the expected rate of inflation. basically, what people think the inflation rate will be, for whatever reason. how crazy is that?
[Free gift for your attention span!]
i want to take this idea in the opposite direction. think small. one thing i'm obsessed with is the connection between an individual's mindset and his performance. again, sports is the obvious connection. here's the real question: what is the connection between other people's mindsets and an individual's performance?
if the coach draws up a play for you to take the game-winning shot, and the rest of your team doesn't believe you're going to make it, does that affect the chance you have of making the shot? i have no doubt that it does. HOW it affects the chance (positively or negatively) can change based on the individual, but it does matter.
in high school, i was the captain of the basketball team. my performance was noticeably different in practice, where my teammates thought i could do no wrong, than playing pick-up at the rec center, where i was often the only white guy on the court. it wasn't just a difference in the levels of competition, either. somewhat often, i would make plays beyond my ability at practice, and, even more often, i would fail to make a routine play on the public courts.
if you'll allow me further illustration, here are some actual thoughts from the actors in each scene:
me: "how in the world did THAT shot go in?!"
others: "of course he made that impossible shot..he always does"
me: "how could i miss that layup!?"
others: "i knew he was going to miss that layup.."
conclusion? expectations matter — WHEN, mind you, the actor either 1) is aware of said expectations or 2) thinks he is aware of them.
the reason why this is on my mind in the first place? students have incredibly low expectations of their teachers!!! i mean, gee whilickers!! it's mentally exhausting to battle their expectations daily.
a few things i have to deal with:
1) if you are out of college, you are "old"...there are only two options: "old", and "not". part of this is a complete lack of ability to determine age. seriously, when kids guess how old i am, the guesses are near 40 just as often as they are near 20.
2) teachers know nothing about pop culture, music, technology, etc. my students all believe that all teachers listen to classical music and can't work computers. how do you even respond to such absurd assumptions? there are so many possible responses that it's paralyzing, almost. i often have to restrain an immature impulse to list off the concerts i've been to, or doing the "spongebob" dance from party rock anthem, or whatever else*. my actual response varies. sometimes i mock them. sometimes i agree with them (read: mock them). sometimes i say "you're 12. i have nothing to prove to you."
*Jon's response is to make pop culture references that go over their heads. i do it from time to time, but he's trying to turn it into an art form. it's comforting, in a way. i need to do it more... recent example: i wrote on the board: "Spelling Bee Club on Monday. You know what it is." a few students made the connection to the song "Black and Yellow" and of course they asked if i did it on purpose. i acted completely ignorant, then added, "all i'm saying is, when a bee goes whizzing by your head, you know what it is" (Wiz Kalifa is the artist.....). if there was a scale that ranked "percentage of humor created solely for your own benefit", i would be near the top of the charts.
3) teachers are physically handicapped. a couple times i hit a volleyball around with the junior high team after practice. after i returned a serve, one of the girls said "wow, Mr. McClallen, you're really good!" the fact i made one easy pass impressed her. instead of being flattered, i was tempted to kill the next ball in her general direction. how good am i now? i didn't, obviously.. the point is, her intended compliment was insulting.
at least it's easy to impress junior highers, right?.. but, nevertheless, low expectations bring you down. i mean, i feel older after interacting with them. that's not cool.
i probably deserve it though, i was just as guilty of the low expectations for "adults" thing as anyone. it's hard to avoid. it definitely works the other way, too. adults don't expect much from kids. i'll clear up that one up later.
though the consequences of human action are intricate, the complexity becomes exponentially* greater when you realize physical "action" isn't even necessary in order to have an impact. your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations can impact your environment. there is a good deal of evidence that a lack of "trust" is the reason the U.S. recovery from this recession has been so slow. the rules (laws) of the game (life) have changed so much, and continue to change, that the resulting "Regime Uncertainty" results in inaction. inaction doesn't spur economic growth. why would i buy a new car now if i suspect another "cash for clunkers" program in the near future? why would i hire another employee if the new health insurance laws are impossible to understand? in both these cases, and many others, it makes sense to wait. and, unfortunately, it's a case where the individual benefit is in opposition to the country's benefit.
*i've observed that Tom winces when people misuse the idea of exponentiality, so i make an effort to do it frequently (along with a long list of other 'triggers'...an infinitely long list). in this case though, i think it's literally applicable.
<flash to Tom imagining someone rubbing the words "exponentially greater" on their shoulders and arms (literally 'applying' them, like sunscreen), cause that's totally what he's doing right now>
i love making connections to sports.. imagine a football game where the rules can change at any time. would it be a game that is full of beautiful plays and complex offensive schemes? or would it be ugly, lack innovation, tend to be conservative, and at times simply be painful to watch? our economy is no different. unless you have a reliable and clear incentive structure, you will be hesitant to act, and when you do act you will be very risk-averse.
one of the major factors that determines investment and future inflation is the expected rate of inflation. basically, what people think the inflation rate will be, for whatever reason. how crazy is that?
i want to take this idea in the opposite direction. think small. one thing i'm obsessed with is the connection between an individual's mindset and his performance. again, sports is the obvious connection. here's the real question: what is the connection between other people's mindsets and an individual's performance?
if the coach draws up a play for you to take the game-winning shot, and the rest of your team doesn't believe you're going to make it, does that affect the chance you have of making the shot? i have no doubt that it does. HOW it affects the chance (positively or negatively) can change based on the individual, but it does matter.
in high school, i was the captain of the basketball team. my performance was noticeably different in practice, where my teammates thought i could do no wrong, than playing pick-up at the rec center, where i was often the only white guy on the court. it wasn't just a difference in the levels of competition, either. somewhat often, i would make plays beyond my ability at practice, and, even more often, i would fail to make a routine play on the public courts.
if you'll allow me further illustration, here are some actual thoughts from the actors in each scene:
me: "how in the world did THAT shot go in?!"
others: "of course he made that impossible shot..he always does"
me: "how could i miss that layup!?"
others: "i knew he was going to miss that layup.."
conclusion? expectations matter — WHEN, mind you, the actor either 1) is aware of said expectations or 2) thinks he is aware of them.
the reason why this is on my mind in the first place? students have incredibly low expectations of their teachers!!! i mean, gee whilickers!! it's mentally exhausting to battle their expectations daily.
a few things i have to deal with:
1) if you are out of college, you are "old"...there are only two options: "old", and "not". part of this is a complete lack of ability to determine age. seriously, when kids guess how old i am, the guesses are near 40 just as often as they are near 20.
2) teachers know nothing about pop culture, music, technology, etc. my students all believe that all teachers listen to classical music and can't work computers. how do you even respond to such absurd assumptions? there are so many possible responses that it's paralyzing, almost. i often have to restrain an immature impulse to list off the concerts i've been to, or doing the "spongebob" dance from party rock anthem, or whatever else*. my actual response varies. sometimes i mock them. sometimes i agree with them (read: mock them). sometimes i say "you're 12. i have nothing to prove to you."
*Jon's response is to make pop culture references that go over their heads. i do it from time to time, but he's trying to turn it into an art form. it's comforting, in a way. i need to do it more... recent example: i wrote on the board: "Spelling Bee Club on Monday. You know what it is." a few students made the connection to the song "Black and Yellow" and of course they asked if i did it on purpose. i acted completely ignorant, then added, "all i'm saying is, when a bee goes whizzing by your head, you know what it is" (Wiz Kalifa is the artist.....). if there was a scale that ranked "percentage of humor created solely for your own benefit", i would be near the top of the charts.
3) teachers are physically handicapped. a couple times i hit a volleyball around with the junior high team after practice. after i returned a serve, one of the girls said "wow, Mr. McClallen, you're really good!" the fact i made one easy pass impressed her. instead of being flattered, i was tempted to kill the next ball in her general direction. how good am i now? i didn't, obviously.. the point is, her intended compliment was insulting.
at least it's easy to impress junior highers, right?.. but, nevertheless, low expectations bring you down. i mean, i feel older after interacting with them. that's not cool.
i probably deserve it though, i was just as guilty of the low expectations for "adults" thing as anyone. it's hard to avoid. it definitely works the other way, too. adults don't expect much from kids. i'll clear up that one up later.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
next post facto
the first quarter is officially over. grading complete, evaluations submitted, fall break gone.
i wasn't dwelling on it at the time, but the past nine weeks had to have been the most challenging of my life thus far. it makes sense. i had to adjust to an entirely new environment: the Southwest; live in a city with over 50k inhabitants for the first time: Phoenix (the sixth most-populous city in the U.S.); move in with new roommates: (Tom and Jon); start a job i had no training for: middle school teacher?!; teach a subject i had little training in: history (ancient AND medieval), and add in all the responsibilities of a head football coach from day one.
being challenged is good. i welcome it, and i recognize it could have been MUCH more difficult, like trying to do all that and not have a core group of friends nearby for support. and to be honest, i would not have even attempted any of this without them.
sometimes i think the things i do are simply because i want to see what it would take to break me down. i'm addicted to the thrill of pushing my limits. i love the process of trying something new, figuring it out, and then doing my best to master it.
the problem is that with more quantity, quality can suffer. the perspective changes more when my adventures affect other people. would i be a better teacher if i wasn't coaching football? it's very probable. would the football team be much worse off with the next-best option at head coach? entirely possible. so, what's the answer? it depends. isn't that always the answer?
i staggered to the finish line of the first quarter. i was working more hours and getting less sleep than my worst semester at Hillsdale, and i really struggled down the home stretch. one thing you don't realize about being a student is that it's relatively passive. you can power down, operate at 60 percent capacity, and be fine. zone out during class and the world doesn't end. teaching is 100 percent all the time, and coaching is the same way. it's almost like a performance. it's exhausting.
so, i hit a wall. i barely made it. all the time while i was figuring out ways to cut down on my workload, the loss of sleep had been building up. the worst part might have been getting up before 7 a.m. on Saturdays in order to make it to my 9 a.m. games. when the bell rang for my last period that last Friday, i just left. there were abandoned stacks of papers on my desk, and open books from the day's lesson plans. i didn't say goodbye.
flying to Michigan for Hillsdale's homecoming was the best medicine i could have asked for, although it also served to highlight the stark contrast from my life a year ago. how could anything be so incredibly familiar and freeing while being so incredibly detached and distant? this homecoming was the only experience i've had that was weird for the sole reason of not being weird. every second.
i was clinging to my last taste of Hillsdale as i got on the plane to fly back. my thoughts were torn, i didn't know how to summarize what i was feeling.. then, i looked at the woman next to me, who was reading. it was a book entitled "A Rather Remarkable Homecoming." well, that works.
the second quarter is now under way. i have big plans to be a better teacher. i also have plans to do things like sleep, maybe even exercise. how do you raise productivity with a fixed amount of labor inputs (1 worker) and a fixed amount of time (24 hours)? increase efficiency! i have to take everything i've learned since August, and put it all together. the next step of the challenge.
my football team has the No. 3 seed in the playoffs. remember my post about losing to Chandler Prep? no? well, we play them on Saturday. if we win, the championship is the next week. either way, football will be over within the next two weeks! think of all the activities i can do with my extra time!
like..coach the JH soccer team? sure, why not?
i wasn't dwelling on it at the time, but the past nine weeks had to have been the most challenging of my life thus far. it makes sense. i had to adjust to an entirely new environment: the Southwest; live in a city with over 50k inhabitants for the first time: Phoenix (the sixth most-populous city in the U.S.); move in with new roommates: (Tom and Jon); start a job i had no training for: middle school teacher?!; teach a subject i had little training in: history (ancient AND medieval), and add in all the responsibilities of a head football coach from day one.
being challenged is good. i welcome it, and i recognize it could have been MUCH more difficult, like trying to do all that and not have a core group of friends nearby for support. and to be honest, i would not have even attempted any of this without them.
sometimes i think the things i do are simply because i want to see what it would take to break me down. i'm addicted to the thrill of pushing my limits. i love the process of trying something new, figuring it out, and then doing my best to master it.
the problem is that with more quantity, quality can suffer. the perspective changes more when my adventures affect other people. would i be a better teacher if i wasn't coaching football? it's very probable. would the football team be much worse off with the next-best option at head coach? entirely possible. so, what's the answer? it depends. isn't that always the answer?
i staggered to the finish line of the first quarter. i was working more hours and getting less sleep than my worst semester at Hillsdale, and i really struggled down the home stretch. one thing you don't realize about being a student is that it's relatively passive. you can power down, operate at 60 percent capacity, and be fine. zone out during class and the world doesn't end. teaching is 100 percent all the time, and coaching is the same way. it's almost like a performance. it's exhausting.
so, i hit a wall. i barely made it. all the time while i was figuring out ways to cut down on my workload, the loss of sleep had been building up. the worst part might have been getting up before 7 a.m. on Saturdays in order to make it to my 9 a.m. games. when the bell rang for my last period that last Friday, i just left. there were abandoned stacks of papers on my desk, and open books from the day's lesson plans. i didn't say goodbye.
flying to Michigan for Hillsdale's homecoming was the best medicine i could have asked for, although it also served to highlight the stark contrast from my life a year ago. how could anything be so incredibly familiar and freeing while being so incredibly detached and distant? this homecoming was the only experience i've had that was weird for the sole reason of not being weird. every second.
i was clinging to my last taste of Hillsdale as i got on the plane to fly back. my thoughts were torn, i didn't know how to summarize what i was feeling.. then, i looked at the woman next to me, who was reading. it was a book entitled "A Rather Remarkable Homecoming." well, that works.
the second quarter is now under way. i have big plans to be a better teacher. i also have plans to do things like sleep, maybe even exercise. how do you raise productivity with a fixed amount of labor inputs (1 worker) and a fixed amount of time (24 hours)? increase efficiency! i have to take everything i've learned since August, and put it all together. the next step of the challenge.
my football team has the No. 3 seed in the playoffs. remember my post about losing to Chandler Prep? no? well, we play them on Saturday. if we win, the championship is the next week. either way, football will be over within the next two weeks! think of all the activities i can do with my extra time!
like..coach the JH soccer team? sure, why not?
Friday, October 7, 2011
best class since next year
i need to write more about my teaching experience, and ramble less. i have some ideas, but for now? i'm going to homecoming.
given that this is the only time i will be going to homecoming the year after i graduate, i want to take full advantage. probably the highest numbers of friends there and friends returning.. so, i thought, how can i approach it differently..? it's not good enough for me to just show up.. i have to be weird.
i'd been tossing around some ideas, but on Monday night i spontaneously put together an opinion piece (about 1 a.m.) and sent it in to my friends at the Collegian. i've spent some time reflecting on what i enjoyed about my experience at Hillsdale, and then trying to find what was unique about it — different from the typical "good" college experience. so that was my starting point.
it's one of those things that you think is great when you do it, but afterward you don't really know what to think. when i went to sleep i was pretty happy with what i wrote. it had unique observations, satirical humor, decent style, and i even tried to give it a point! and i wrote it all in one sitting, which is pretty rare for me.. but, when i read it in the morning i was a whole lot less confident in it. why was i writing it at all? who was i writing to? was it too strong?
the biggest theme for my opinion pieces is simply attempting to make people think. if the best way to make them think is to make them mad at me, so be it. another way to make people think is be unclear — a specialty of mine. i'm hard to understand, by nature. part of my controversy-promoting approach is that i don't always say what i actually believe. i want it to start conversations, even if it's all in the readers head.
so, here it is. "Alumni homecoming advice"
in a few days i'm going to post an explanation of what i was thinking, what i meant, and why.
by the way, that's not my headline. i sent in a few suggestions (including the title of this post), but i guess they didn't make the cut.. and i'm not complaining!! i mean, if i'm known for anything it's for ridiculous headlines..so this feels bland. seriously though, i'm grateful for getting printed on such short notice. sweethearts, the whole bunch of 'em!
given that this is the only time i will be going to homecoming the year after i graduate, i want to take full advantage. probably the highest numbers of friends there and friends returning.. so, i thought, how can i approach it differently..? it's not good enough for me to just show up.. i have to be weird.
i'd been tossing around some ideas, but on Monday night i spontaneously put together an opinion piece (about 1 a.m.) and sent it in to my friends at the Collegian. i've spent some time reflecting on what i enjoyed about my experience at Hillsdale, and then trying to find what was unique about it — different from the typical "good" college experience. so that was my starting point.
it's one of those things that you think is great when you do it, but afterward you don't really know what to think. when i went to sleep i was pretty happy with what i wrote. it had unique observations, satirical humor, decent style, and i even tried to give it a point! and i wrote it all in one sitting, which is pretty rare for me.. but, when i read it in the morning i was a whole lot less confident in it. why was i writing it at all? who was i writing to? was it too strong?
the biggest theme for my opinion pieces is simply attempting to make people think. if the best way to make them think is to make them mad at me, so be it. another way to make people think is be unclear — a specialty of mine. i'm hard to understand, by nature. part of my controversy-promoting approach is that i don't always say what i actually believe. i want it to start conversations, even if it's all in the readers head.
so, here it is. "Alumni homecoming advice"
in a few days i'm going to post an explanation of what i was thinking, what i meant, and why.
by the way, that's not my headline. i sent in a few suggestions (including the title of this post), but i guess they didn't make the cut.. and i'm not complaining!! i mean, if i'm known for anything it's for ridiculous headlines..so this feels bland. seriously though, i'm grateful for getting printed on such short notice. sweethearts, the whole bunch of 'em!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
winning is underrated.
you've heard the quotes. everyone recognizes winning is better than losing, and some people go further than that. Vince Lombardi famously said that "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." here's my perspective: irregardlessly of how much you value winning, you should value it more. not just SHOULD, but you WOULD, if you fully understood it's importance. that goes for Lombardi, too.
that being said, is there anything worse than losing? if you give your best, you shouldn't have regrets. but, you can give your best and still make mistakes. and dwell on them. i mean, finishing second place is awful. you were right there, and fell just short.
no one but the losers remember second place. and second place does remember, trust me. i have memories where i actually wince every time it crosses my mind, and i can only imagine it will always be that way for me. but first? first is symbolic. first place gives you a reference point for everything else. that's why i was so pleased to hear that our Collegian team from last year at Hillsdale won an award. well, a lot of awards (i'll put up a link to any articles i find). the 2010-2011 Hillsdale Collegian won First Place General Excellence in our division at the Michigan Press Awards. basically, we were judged to be the "best" weekly paper in the state of Michigan.
i'd never really thought about our chances. i did know that we had a great team, and we had a great time. it wasn't just the seniors, either, we were solid through and through. though we each will treasure the experience individually, it's really awesome to be able to attach the official sort of recognition as well.
one thing bothers me about winning — relativity. there's always someone better out there. so you can very rarely be satisfied, because other people won't allow it. i know competition should be a personal thing — comparing yourself to others is trouble. but think about it. let's say a friend of yours wins first place at a track and field event at Hillsdale, which is Division II. you're trying to brag on them a little, and someone always jumps in and says something like (and i'm paraphrasing to highlight the ridiculousness) "this guy i went to high school with runs track at Ohio State" ...!!.. so, just the fact that a higher level of competition exists is supposed to make all of your friend's accomplishments impotent.
are you following? or should i start over? that's why winning the Superbowl is different than winning the Major League Soccer championship. both are the highest level of competition; in one sense, legitimate championships, but the Superbowl-winning team truly is the best football team on the planet. no one can downplay their accomplishment. the MLS champion team has to deal with the existence of the European leagues. all of their hours of physical and mental training, their sacrifices, the whole package can be negated instantly by some a**hole who says "well, they probably couldn't beat Arsenal." it's not REALLY negated, but if you're in that setting, how can you respond to such thoughtlessness??
someone in charge decided to give me first place for the best-designed sports page. my initial reaction was pure unadulterated surprise. my second? "so..i had the best-designed section of the worst-designed section.."..in a sense, answering the afore-mentioned critic before he has a chance to comment. on the one hand, it's probably true. on the other, it's unhealthy to obsess over relativity. i need to take it for what is, a compliment on a job/performance where i invested everything i had over the course of an entire school year.
besides that, there's something to be said for finding the right place for you to compete, and compete successfully. i got into the journalism program by being the guy who could write decently, for a jock, essentially. i rode that role to the editor position, and didn't look back.
maybe i learned something by deciding i was going to play basketball in college, and failing. basketball is the toughest sport to get a scholarship for..think about it. of all the major college sports, it has the smallest rosters and is the most dependent on pure physical gifts (namely, height) for success. hard work only gets you so far, kids. it's naive to ignore natural ability and, my favorite, "luck"..
how can i bring this around... winning. relativity. design. ah, yes. even though i'm tempted to downplay it, that award is big for me (ignoring the fact that a lot of my difficult designs were done by Joel and Liz — again, thank my awareness of "the critic" for that observation).. ability to design something well implies creativity in some capacity, does it not? i've never been creative; calculative would be far more accurate. i'm intimidated by creative people. musicians? wow. i mean, you can't teach creativity. but have i learned it, somehow? or maybe designing a newspaper can be a technique..
maybe there's hope for me. thanks, MPA's.
that being said, is there anything worse than losing? if you give your best, you shouldn't have regrets. but, you can give your best and still make mistakes. and dwell on them. i mean, finishing second place is awful. you were right there, and fell just short.
no one but the losers remember second place. and second place does remember, trust me. i have memories where i actually wince every time it crosses my mind, and i can only imagine it will always be that way for me. but first? first is symbolic. first place gives you a reference point for everything else. that's why i was so pleased to hear that our Collegian team from last year at Hillsdale won an award. well, a lot of awards (i'll put up a link to any articles i find). the 2010-2011 Hillsdale Collegian won First Place General Excellence in our division at the Michigan Press Awards. basically, we were judged to be the "best" weekly paper in the state of Michigan.
i'd never really thought about our chances. i did know that we had a great team, and we had a great time. it wasn't just the seniors, either, we were solid through and through. though we each will treasure the experience individually, it's really awesome to be able to attach the official sort of recognition as well.
one thing bothers me about winning — relativity. there's always someone better out there. so you can very rarely be satisfied, because other people won't allow it. i know competition should be a personal thing — comparing yourself to others is trouble. but think about it. let's say a friend of yours wins first place at a track and field event at Hillsdale, which is Division II. you're trying to brag on them a little, and someone always jumps in and says something like (and i'm paraphrasing to highlight the ridiculousness) "this guy i went to high school with runs track at Ohio State" ...!!.. so, just the fact that a higher level of competition exists is supposed to make all of your friend's accomplishments impotent.
are you following? or should i start over? that's why winning the Superbowl is different than winning the Major League Soccer championship. both are the highest level of competition; in one sense, legitimate championships, but the Superbowl-winning team truly is the best football team on the planet. no one can downplay their accomplishment. the MLS champion team has to deal with the existence of the European leagues. all of their hours of physical and mental training, their sacrifices, the whole package can be negated instantly by some a**hole who says "well, they probably couldn't beat Arsenal." it's not REALLY negated, but if you're in that setting, how can you respond to such thoughtlessness??
someone in charge decided to give me first place for the best-designed sports page. my initial reaction was pure unadulterated surprise. my second? "so..i had the best-designed section of the worst-designed section.."..in a sense, answering the afore-mentioned critic before he has a chance to comment. on the one hand, it's probably true. on the other, it's unhealthy to obsess over relativity. i need to take it for what is, a compliment on a job/performance where i invested everything i had over the course of an entire school year.
besides that, there's something to be said for finding the right place for you to compete, and compete successfully. i got into the journalism program by being the guy who could write decently, for a jock, essentially. i rode that role to the editor position, and didn't look back.
maybe i learned something by deciding i was going to play basketball in college, and failing. basketball is the toughest sport to get a scholarship for..think about it. of all the major college sports, it has the smallest rosters and is the most dependent on pure physical gifts (namely, height) for success. hard work only gets you so far, kids. it's naive to ignore natural ability and, my favorite, "luck"..
how can i bring this around... winning. relativity. design. ah, yes. even though i'm tempted to downplay it, that award is big for me (ignoring the fact that a lot of my difficult designs were done by Joel and Liz — again, thank my awareness of "the critic" for that observation).. ability to design something well implies creativity in some capacity, does it not? i've never been creative; calculative would be far more accurate. i'm intimidated by creative people. musicians? wow. i mean, you can't teach creativity. but have i learned it, somehow? or maybe designing a newspaper can be a technique..
maybe there's hope for me. thanks, MPA's.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
at worst, anything is possible.
there’s boatloads of potential in every day. when you project that potential out to weeks and months, it quickly becomes apparent that, at worst, anything is possible.
this is the story of how i got here, now. graduation from Hillsdale in May passed by with no plans following. that wasn’t so bad. when i make plans, i love being able to start with nothing. can you realize the possibilities before you? no, no one can. but, all you need is a starting point.
my starting point was Las Vegas. good starting points are beyond your control or imagination, that’s how you know they were meant to be.
my parents invited me to Vegas for the family vacation. well, it was just outside Vegas, at places like Lake Mead, the Hoover Dam, and "Frontsight Resort" (you HAVE to click on that link, i cannot begin to describe it). the idea was for our family members to get concealed carry licenses…
when planning, you have to see the big picture. i hope the idea of going on vacation with my family is always as appealing to me as it has been whilst growing up, but it’s not wrong for it to be appealing beyond family-time. it was also a voucher for cross-country travel, and a solid foundation to build my immediate future on. i got a one-way ticket.
i had entertained the idea of making my way to Phoenix later in the summer and helping Lauren and Alison move in/get accustomed to the new environment. naturally, the Vegas path got me thinking about Phoenix. Phoenix is, like, right next to Vegas, right? the timing just didn’t work, though. they weren’t going to be there for several weeks. Jon and Tom were even later.
despite what you may think, being spontaneous (successfully) is, in fact, directly correlated to being prepared. while in the hotel in Vegas, i sent out some feelers. i talked to Aaron Schepps about visiting him in Phoenix. i talked to the girls about their plans, i talked to Brian about meeting me in Vegas. i checked train/bus routes in the Southwest. i also considered flying to Tennessee for Bonnaroo, but i digress.
given my likelihood of visiting Phoenix at some point, i did some job searching. i researched think tanks, newspaper/media, and finally, Great Hearts. thanks to updates from Hillsdale's Career Planning services, i was aware they were still hiring. i spent a solid hour composing an email to the Great Hearts Academies office, telling them i may be passing through Phoenix, and asking if i could interview for any open positions (“also, i’m from Hillsdale”).
my family returned home. we are good at vacationing, i gotta say. though it’s usually an exhausting experience, it’s also the reason why i can say i’ve been to 49 states. you enjoy the beach, again, we’ll be white-water rafting down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. they left the hotel at 5 a.m. to catch their flight. i slept in. it is not the slightest exaggeration to say i had zero “set” plans. when i got kicked out at check-out, i was going to be in Sin City alone, with no place to stay. in this type of situation, it’s important to remember to never panic. think through things, you always have options.
Brian came through. in the morning neither of us knew if he was coming; he was there by the afternoon. our original plan of sleeping in a tent at the KOA off the strip fell through due to the fact we both thought the other had the tent. details matter, sometimes.. we stayed at the Stratosphere.
i got a reply from Great Hearts. apparently, my email had been forwarded to all the schools (i think there are 14 at this point), and one school was willing to give me an interview. it was Scottsdale Prep. i called them from a moving sidewalk in front of the Bellagio, and arranged a time — Tuesday. i had another set point on my journey, and four days in between.
it was tempting to hit up L.A. for a night or two before going to Phoenix. Brian was headed home, and i had friends there. but i opted for more down time.. know your limits. besides, if i got the job in Phoenix, L.A. would be permanently a weekend away.
at 11 p.m. Friday night i boarded a Greyhound from Vegas to Phoenix. it was an 8-hour journey. buses might be the only place i can’t sleep.
Aaron Schepps and his family were the perfect hosts for the three days leading up to my interview (and three days afterward). this is proven by the fact they also hosted Lauren, Laura, and Michele just before they were hired. well, perfect if you overlook the fact that i needed interview clothes, and none of them are my size.
this brings me to a clarification. don’t limit yourself unnecessarily. if you are backpacking through the desert and encounter a job opportunity, don’t turn it down simply because you don’t have proper attire on. a legitimate problem should clearly outweigh the opportunity. clothing is not a legitimate problem, in this case.
enter Kevin Meyers, who happens to be teaching in Phoenix as well. my transfer-year-roommate and i have a weird and great relationship, definitely one that i feel comfortable demanding a suit from on short notice. other options could have been investing in a suit (gotta get one sometime), used clothing stores, or the classic buy/return approach, just as examples.
though you may think i’ve been flippant thus far, i did take this interview seriously. there is a time for everything. i spent a good amount of time thinking and praying about the idea of teaching kids. i called every one of my friends who had already interviewed with Great Hearts. i practically memorized the website. when the time came, i was ready, relatively.
the interview went well. they had another interviewee in right after me, then gave us both a tour of the new building, then offered me the job.
obviously, my first thought was “it can’t be this easy.” i had until Friday to decide, i took ‘til Thursday. i begged Jon and Tom out of their two-bedroom place they had all but signed on. i visited one apartment complex before leaving town, and it’s the one we’re now living in. i went from never considering teaching to being a teacher in about two weeks, and i have not second-guessed my decision. you don't always know what's best for you.
i flew home, took a goodbye tour of Illinois/Chicago/Hillsdale for just over a week, then packed my things and made the 32-hour drive to the Southwest with my brother Mark.
this whole experience is a big reason why i chose the name “wonderful anarchy” for this blog. i think it’s a decent example of the common choices we make (free will) forcing a particular outcome (destiny), resulting in a conclusion that could never have been considered beforehand, or fully comprehended afterward (God’s plan). God has a plan.
when i first met Mr. Schepps, he wondered why i was friends with Aaron, only partially joking. Aaron was a freshman, i was a senior. when i got back from that interview, i had an answer for him.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Bon Iver, Bon Iver in Concert.
this is not a review, it's just another blog post.
if you don't know Bon Iver's music, i don't know what to tell you. keep reading?
or, watch this.
"Skinny Love" live on Jools Holland
or, this.
La Blogotheque's take on "For Emma, Forever Ago"
he played "Skinny Love" lastly, and i left the theatre with the words stuck in my head.
"now all your love is wasted, then who the hell am i?..."
if you don't know Bon Iver's music, i don't know what to tell you. keep reading?
or, watch this.
"Skinny Love" live on Jools Holland
or, this.
La Blogotheque's take on "For Emma, Forever Ago"
it began in June. i had just been hired to teach, and i was in the library in Hillsdale finishing unfinished business. Brian called me.
“Bon Iver is in concert in Phoenix in September.”
we got tickets. four of them, total.
fast forward to last Wednesday. Brian wasn’t going to be one of the four; it just couldn’t work out. he mailed me the tickets. they didn’t arrive.
Thursday, the day of the concert, also Guatemala's Independence Day. Brian, from Dallas, had been working on a solution. the four — Lauren, Alison, me, and Jon — had been working on work.
Brian came through, of course, and emailed me a link to print the tickets. just a few hours later i got another text from him:
“I will be at the phx airport at 330. I would like to go to a bon iver and fleet foxes concert with my besties. Can someone pick me up? This is not a joke. Dreams come true”
..gotta love him.
..gotta love him.
Lauren ended up being “someone”. so, a few hours later i find myself packed into Al’s Hyundai Sonata with five (Tom supplying the fifth) of my favorite people, driving to a concert of one of my favorite artists.
afterward, Stefany asked me to sum up the experience in one word. after too much thought, i went with “fulfilling.”
it started in the car. we weren’t teachers. i didn’t have to write two tests before my first class. it was the perfect release. those moments where you don’t have a care in the world get rarer and rarer, and this one was long overdue, by my count.
Jon scalped a ticket. Tom got in. Michele and Laura had purchased tickets independently, so we were all there, but the seats were all spread out.
funny thing with me and concerts — i always go with friends, but i often get lost within my own experience. it happened again.
a long time ago i decided that if a concert had a general admission area/floor, then i would be there, in the front. the experience simply cannot be matched. many people hate the idea of fighting for every inch against masses of sweaty people who will do anything to get closer. i love it.
i’ve been in mosh-pits where blood was spilled. i’ve crowd-surfed. i’ve gotten drum sticks, guitar picks, set lists, and the occasional autograph. don’t try to tell me it’s better to be anywhere else but the very front.
the problem is getting there.
i use various approaches, including stealth, force, and trickeration. i really tried to get someone to come with me, but they weren’t quite up for it, this time. i’ll admit, it was harder than i expected to get past security. long story short, i faked my way to the front row of the assigned seats, waited a few minutes, and then jumped the railing when the lights dimmed between songs. i ran into the crowd and never looked back. this was during the Fleet Foxes show, and by the time Bon Iver came on stage, i had made friends in the front row.
i think i will have a post later discussing my approach to morality, if anyone’s interested. for now, try to abate your concern..
the concert was awesome, naturally. i don’t have the right words to describe it right now, unfortunately. Justin Vernon looked like Ian Moss. During “Blood Bank” the whole set was drowned in red light. it was not the best concert of all-time, but it was what i wanted, and what i needed. there were times where i just closed my eyes and swayed and tried to take everything in, tried futilely to comprehend what anything meant. one did i did determine is that "Beth/Rest" is not a joke, as has been proposed by the Golden sisters. for me, the highlight was probably during "Wolves", when they had the crowd sing "What might have been lost" over and over. it grew louder and louder, and i just knew that each person singing had a different experience they were dwelling on as they yelled the words all the way to a crescendo-ing scream. i'm sure it wasn't a highlight unique to me — there's a reason they chose that section of that song at that point.. two things could have made it better: more songs from “For Emma, Forever Ago”, and any sort of encore. you have to do an encore, Justin! no one is above the law of encores.
well, here's the set list ;-P
he played "Skinny Love" lastly, and i left the theatre with the words stuck in my head.
"now all your love is wasted, then who the hell am i?..."
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
mourning person
my phone rings at 5:29 a.m. it’s Lauren.
i ignore it, but send a text.
“?”
“Al’s car won’t start. i figured you’d be up.”
she was right — i was up. i’m usually awake by 5:30, but the fact that someone EXPECTED me to be up at that time really drove the point home. things have changed.
in college, the only thing that would get me up that early was the urgency of a test i wasn’t prepared for (or free Grand Slams at Denny's).
now, the feeling is the same. the first thing i do every morning is go over my mental checklist of things i HAVE to do before my first class. having a "test" every day will weigh you down. each day it gets incrementally harder to respond to my alarm(s) (this is what helped me appreciate the secret math behind holidays like Labor Day. not only is it an extra day of the weekend, it is also a day off of the work week. a simple one-day holiday results in a tangible two-day improvement for everyone. it's beautiful!). unfortunately, the next holiday is a ways off..
i've always hated waking up, for as far back as i can remember. there's a reason this is the first full-time/early-morning job i've had — i played my cards right. the only thing worse than waking up is waking up cold, in a drafty room at the back of 224 N. Manning Street. nah, actually that was never so bad...*wistful sigh*..brief foray into memories of mornings in the Moon...focus!
the summer before senior year i decided to become a "morning person". i knew my college approach to sleeping was unsustainable, and i'm not really into resisting the inevitable. my attempt was relatively unsuccessful in practice, but i did work though what it was that made someone a morning person. i think, at the core, it's just an excitement to start a new day, and a desire to get the most out of it. i identify with that. that was a start.
the difference between realizing it's desirable to be a morning person and actually waking up before 6 every day is pretty simple: incentives. i've recently started thinking of college as an exercise in opportunity cost (realizing what you give up when you choose to do one thing over another). it's a great way to develop your decision-making in an environment with few variables. basically, what do you do when you don't HAVE to do anything? of course, as Tom would be quick to remind you, and has informed his 7th graders, you don't HAVE to do ANYTHING, except die. that's not the point, though.
when your alarm is going off for your 8 o'clock biology lab, it's not a disaster if you silence it and roll over. it's your decision, and, theoretically, most of the consequences are directed at you. what happens if i were to do that now, however, might just be categorized as a disaster. i literally can't imagine the consequences of not showing up to school without warning. the effects of my action (or lack thereof) spill over onto other people. the result? i get up when my alarm goes off. thankfully i appreciate the added incentive, instead of resenting it. it's crazy how much you can accomplish in a day that starts at 5:30 and ends after midnight..
on a side note, this opportunity-cost experiment is one of the few reasons that college graduates are still significantly favored by employers. in most cases your degree doesn't help you do the job you're hired for, but your GPA and extra-curricular accomplishments tell them how motivated you are. college degrees separate smart, ambitious people from just smart people. any objections?
oh, and even though i was awake for Al's early morning car emergency, i had no time to help. she got a ride to school and we tackled the problem (dead battery) in the afternoon.
wanna hear a teacher knock-knock joke?..
"knock, knock"
"who's there?"
"to."
"to who?"
"to whom!"
oh, and even though i was awake for Al's early morning car emergency, i had no time to help. she got a ride to school and we tackled the problem (dead battery) in the afternoon.
wanna hear a teacher knock-knock joke?..
"knock, knock"
"who's there?"
"to."
"to who?"
"to whom!"
Monday, September 5, 2011
getting personal
one way to make people read your blog is to write about them, or friends of theirs. this post is going to be an update, from my perspective, of how my friends are faring after 4 weeks of teaching.
my goal is to be more original than a quick update from them, and more exciting. i'm trying to walk the line between things they wouldn't tell you in the typical conversation, and things they wouldn't want me to say. line-walking rarely succeeds.
alphabetically, shall we?
Alison Roberts. probably will be the most uncomfortable with me doing this, and probably for the best reasons. Alison teaches 8th/9th Latin at Glendale Prep, and has few complaints. she has a knack (bordering on need) for seeing everything that happens as a positive. this is valuable, because it's true that our perceptions can dictate reality. but, it's also a little dangerous, because she can have trouble realizing when something really isn't good. for example, i've teased her quite a bit for volunteering to be an assistant cross country coach.. which means morning practices throughout the week AND weekend! it's gotta be some swimmer complex.. still, her loyalty to her new school is impressive. Great Hearts expects teachers to help with extracurriculars, and since Glendale doesn't have a swim team, she found another area in which to contribute. she's probably done the best job of getting into community outside other Hillsdalians. her main trouble is just lately, being forced to watch (via Facebook) her younger friends restarting their lives at Hillsdale without her, which obviously is normal for any graduates who had an incredible college experience and incredible non-senior friends. i think she may be afraid that teaching Latin could get boring, but whether that's admittable, i don't know. also of note, she's a young single Catholic teacher at a school with more than a few young single Catholic teachers of the opposite sex. though it's not a perfect comparison, i feel obligated to pass on someone else's observation that Alison's experience with the Glendale Prep staff "must be something like what Lynzy Elzinga experienced at Hillsdale." the main problem i see is a vast majority of Hillsdale's guys were scared to talk to Lynzy...these guys' approach to women is slightly more direct than either of them experienced at Hillsdale, i imagine.
Jon Gregg. the only one of us teaching upperclassmen in high school, and the only one prepping for three classes: 8th, 10th, 11th, and 12th maths (8th/10th are the same material). he's doing fine, though, naturally. Glendale Prep started a few days earlier than the rest of us, and Jon had himself a pretty awful first day experience: he forgot to wear a belt, came back for it during second period to find himself locked out (with no cell phone), went to the apartment office to get a key, but got in only to eventually realize that Tom had worn his belt that day. to top it off he burnt his fingers badly cooking his meal . still, all of that happened on Day 1 and he just focused on how well the in-class experience went compared to the rest. he had a little trouble with writing his first test (and most of us did) — his kids couldn't finish it in class. it wasn't a big deal, i only mention it because i'm sure there are people out there wondering if there's anything Jon can't do. he is also coaching the Glendale middle school volleyball B-team (there is a C-team too, to his credit). he doesn't complain, but i think there are things he'd rather be doing. still, Jon is really good at realizing how things are and making the best of it. Tom and i talk about coaching football pretty often, and Jon usually has a good way to tie in our experience teaching how to pick up a blitz with how many girls cried that day at his practice. in addition to the normal teacher/coach commitments, he's also been figuring out how to manage a serious and seriously long-distance relationship, AND watch Twins games online (though they're like 100 games back).
Laura Golden. she has the most odds stacked against her, and might be having the hardest time. that's not to say she is struggling, but rather that her accomplishments are that much more impressive. her and Michele both work at Trivium Prep, a first year school. that means that none of their students are used to the Great Hearts approach: dress code, discipline, work load, etc. (same goes for Michele). BUT, Laura is teaching 6th fine arts and 7th lit/comp. so not only does she have to deal with more problem students than the rest of us, she has to teach them grammar. Laura teaching grammar is like me teaching Ancient History.. not only that, but Laura probably feels the most displaced. as you know, she's a Southerner (as is Alison, but Al had 6 months to get used to the idea). Laura was planning on moving to Nashville up until a month before getting hired here. Southerners are known for close families, and Laura's closest family is the farthest away (in South America for five weeks). that being said, Laura has some things going for her. she actually had teaching experience before we started (unlike myself, Tom, or Michele). she has Lynzy moving in with her and Michele by the end of the month, further enhancing her long-time dream of adventuring to a new place with college/life-long friends and rejecting the "real-life" doldrums. and she has her priorities straight. she made the first and biggest purchase of the gang so far — a 42" flatscreen and surround sound system. right now her biggest concern is finding somewhere to watch Auburn football, since her cousin is the starting quarterback and she doesn't have cable.
Lauren Demianiuk. irrepressible, this one. she's having a significantly different experience than the rest of us. Lauren is a 3rd grade teacher at Veritas Archway. she has her own classroom, and a teaching assistant who's probably twice her age. she spent a large percentage of her classroom budget on a 6' x 9' map of the world, and has never regretted it. she has the same 29 kids for the whole day (five classes plus change). her stories are completely unlike our stories. i don't know how excited she was going into it (i think she'd rather have older classes and teach German), but she is giving it everything she's got. she's definitely logged the most hours working at her school, of any of us. i've told her to relax because she can't mess up third-graders, but she's not settling (she is, however, planning on teaching them Kafka?!). just last week i gave her and Jon a tour of my school, and the main thing she noticed were things in the 5th-grade classrooms that she didn't have. honestly, she probably obsesses over it a more-than-healthy amount. the classroom teachers have a lot more preparation (five classes compared to two-three), but a lot less grading (29 kids compared to 88+). besides aiming at being the best third-grade teacher at Great Hearts, she also has jumped right into other areas that i haven't even given thought to yet. she's had other faculty over to her and Al's place for dinner (one time i even got invited!), and she's managed to maintain a decent workout regimen (last i heard). although they were both a little too obsessed with being perfect for each other at the very beginning, Lauren and Alison make a great roommate duo. they've invested everything in their respective schools right at the start, but unfortunately that means we see them the least.
Michele Philbrook. i have the least information to speculate on with Michele, which i just realized. she was the last hire, and teaches 6th grade American History and 7th Fine Arts at Trivium Prep with Laura. though she hadn't planned to teach, she is well-equipped to teach fine arts. in fact, i think she may like it because it legitimizes her as an artist in a way.. she is artistic but often feels like she has to prove it, which makes sense in her case.. she was an art minor (and i had to ask to verify that, which proves my point haha).. and some of her friends are well-known for being artistic, so she's been in their shadows to some degree. but if she can teach art and do a good job, that's worth a lot, both in her head and others'. part of being artistic means that Michele complains about everything being chain stores in Phoenix. i make fun of her because she seems to have decided that without leaving the freeways much.. since Laura and Michele teach the same kids, it's also been really valuable for Michele to see that she can have the same amount of (or more) control over a classroom as Laura. those two have an additional difficulty.. there are only seven faculty at Trivium, and they are all new. they are making curriculum as they go. everyone else has way more help (at least available), for sure. they both really like their headmaster, though that's true across the board as far as i know. Michele is closest to home of anyone, apparently close enough for her brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law to drive down this weekend! gotta be nice.. overall, i give Michele a solid B+. wait, since when am i grading anyone? nevermind.
Tom Sawyer. by all appearances, Tom is having the easiest and the hardest time right now. he is teaching 8th and 9th maths at Anthem Prep. he knows the stuff he's teaching, and he has a pretty efficient approach to homework. that means minimal time prepping/grading. he also helps coach football, but to the degree that he can skip practices when convenient. it's a good system.. he also just ended a serious relationship about two weeks ago. that's where the hardest part comes in... when you feel like something isn't working, but both people in the relationship are really good people and want the best for each other, it's never an easy decision. you're going to second-guess everything. and Tom is probably the existential-est crisis-er that i know...not a good combo, but he's doing okay. last Saturday a group of us went on a Goodwill spree/scavenger hunt for his birthday, and part of the challenge was to buy something for Tom that he had to wear during the school week. he's taken on the role of weird math teacher spectacularly, so showing up to school the day before parent's night wearing a matching orange-flamed suspender/tie set did not elicit inordinate amounts of surprise from his classes. he did get reminded of the teacher dress code by his headmaster though, for at least the third time. several times a day, Tom will walk though the apartment saying "smoke break?" with varying degrees of urgency or excitement, and sometimes anger if we deny him. he likes company on smoke breaks, and i think i might like having an excuse to smoke.. we've had some really great conversations during those uncomfortably hot sessions outside on our porch, of course with Jon, too, when he's not on the phone with Casey (obligatory shot, sorry).
i've gotta finish this. Scottsdale had an R&R weekend, which means no homework is assigned, which means i gave tests Friday, which don't have any material to cover tomorrow. i'm planning on making up a lecture on what the liberal arts is in all four of my classes. we'll see what happens, eh? after i spontaneously gave Michele a grade, i decided it would be a great way to end this monstrosity of a blog. fitting. controversial. and entirely objective.
Final grades for the first half of the first quarter!!
Alison: B-
Jon: A-
Laura: B
Lauren: A
Michele: B+
Tom: B+
Me? C+ and coming on strong!
my goal is to be more original than a quick update from them, and more exciting. i'm trying to walk the line between things they wouldn't tell you in the typical conversation, and things they wouldn't want me to say. line-walking rarely succeeds.
alphabetically, shall we?
Alison Roberts. probably will be the most uncomfortable with me doing this, and probably for the best reasons. Alison teaches 8th/9th Latin at Glendale Prep, and has few complaints. she has a knack (bordering on need) for seeing everything that happens as a positive. this is valuable, because it's true that our perceptions can dictate reality. but, it's also a little dangerous, because she can have trouble realizing when something really isn't good. for example, i've teased her quite a bit for volunteering to be an assistant cross country coach.. which means morning practices throughout the week AND weekend! it's gotta be some swimmer complex.. still, her loyalty to her new school is impressive. Great Hearts expects teachers to help with extracurriculars, and since Glendale doesn't have a swim team, she found another area in which to contribute. she's probably done the best job of getting into community outside other Hillsdalians. her main trouble is just lately, being forced to watch (via Facebook) her younger friends restarting their lives at Hillsdale without her, which obviously is normal for any graduates who had an incredible college experience and incredible non-senior friends. i think she may be afraid that teaching Latin could get boring, but whether that's admittable, i don't know. also of note, she's a young single Catholic teacher at a school with more than a few young single Catholic teachers of the opposite sex. though it's not a perfect comparison, i feel obligated to pass on someone else's observation that Alison's experience with the Glendale Prep staff "must be something like what Lynzy Elzinga experienced at Hillsdale." the main problem i see is a vast majority of Hillsdale's guys were scared to talk to Lynzy...these guys' approach to women is slightly more direct than either of them experienced at Hillsdale, i imagine.
Jon Gregg. the only one of us teaching upperclassmen in high school, and the only one prepping for three classes: 8th, 10th, 11th, and 12th maths (8th/10th are the same material). he's doing fine, though, naturally. Glendale Prep started a few days earlier than the rest of us, and Jon had himself a pretty awful first day experience: he forgot to wear a belt, came back for it during second period to find himself locked out (with no cell phone), went to the apartment office to get a key, but got in only to eventually realize that Tom had worn his belt that day. to top it off he burnt his fingers badly cooking his meal . still, all of that happened on Day 1 and he just focused on how well the in-class experience went compared to the rest. he had a little trouble with writing his first test (and most of us did) — his kids couldn't finish it in class. it wasn't a big deal, i only mention it because i'm sure there are people out there wondering if there's anything Jon can't do. he is also coaching the Glendale middle school volleyball B-team (there is a C-team too, to his credit). he doesn't complain, but i think there are things he'd rather be doing. still, Jon is really good at realizing how things are and making the best of it. Tom and i talk about coaching football pretty often, and Jon usually has a good way to tie in our experience teaching how to pick up a blitz with how many girls cried that day at his practice. in addition to the normal teacher/coach commitments, he's also been figuring out how to manage a serious and seriously long-distance relationship, AND watch Twins games online (though they're like 100 games back).
Laura Golden. she has the most odds stacked against her, and might be having the hardest time. that's not to say she is struggling, but rather that her accomplishments are that much more impressive. her and Michele both work at Trivium Prep, a first year school. that means that none of their students are used to the Great Hearts approach: dress code, discipline, work load, etc. (same goes for Michele). BUT, Laura is teaching 6th fine arts and 7th lit/comp. so not only does she have to deal with more problem students than the rest of us, she has to teach them grammar. Laura teaching grammar is like me teaching Ancient History.. not only that, but Laura probably feels the most displaced. as you know, she's a Southerner (as is Alison, but Al had 6 months to get used to the idea). Laura was planning on moving to Nashville up until a month before getting hired here. Southerners are known for close families, and Laura's closest family is the farthest away (in South America for five weeks). that being said, Laura has some things going for her. she actually had teaching experience before we started (unlike myself, Tom, or Michele). she has Lynzy moving in with her and Michele by the end of the month, further enhancing her long-time dream of adventuring to a new place with college/life-long friends and rejecting the "real-life" doldrums. and she has her priorities straight. she made the first and biggest purchase of the gang so far — a 42" flatscreen and surround sound system. right now her biggest concern is finding somewhere to watch Auburn football, since her cousin is the starting quarterback and she doesn't have cable.
Lauren Demianiuk. irrepressible, this one. she's having a significantly different experience than the rest of us. Lauren is a 3rd grade teacher at Veritas Archway. she has her own classroom, and a teaching assistant who's probably twice her age. she spent a large percentage of her classroom budget on a 6' x 9' map of the world, and has never regretted it. she has the same 29 kids for the whole day (five classes plus change). her stories are completely unlike our stories. i don't know how excited she was going into it (i think she'd rather have older classes and teach German), but she is giving it everything she's got. she's definitely logged the most hours working at her school, of any of us. i've told her to relax because she can't mess up third-graders, but she's not settling (she is, however, planning on teaching them Kafka?!). just last week i gave her and Jon a tour of my school, and the main thing she noticed were things in the 5th-grade classrooms that she didn't have. honestly, she probably obsesses over it a more-than-healthy amount. the classroom teachers have a lot more preparation (five classes compared to two-three), but a lot less grading (29 kids compared to 88+). besides aiming at being the best third-grade teacher at Great Hearts, she also has jumped right into other areas that i haven't even given thought to yet. she's had other faculty over to her and Al's place for dinner (one time i even got invited!), and she's managed to maintain a decent workout regimen (last i heard). although they were both a little too obsessed with being perfect for each other at the very beginning, Lauren and Alison make a great roommate duo. they've invested everything in their respective schools right at the start, but unfortunately that means we see them the least.
Michele Philbrook. i have the least information to speculate on with Michele, which i just realized. she was the last hire, and teaches 6th grade American History and 7th Fine Arts at Trivium Prep with Laura. though she hadn't planned to teach, she is well-equipped to teach fine arts. in fact, i think she may like it because it legitimizes her as an artist in a way.. she is artistic but often feels like she has to prove it, which makes sense in her case.. she was an art minor (and i had to ask to verify that, which proves my point haha).. and some of her friends are well-known for being artistic, so she's been in their shadows to some degree. but if she can teach art and do a good job, that's worth a lot, both in her head and others'. part of being artistic means that Michele complains about everything being chain stores in Phoenix. i make fun of her because she seems to have decided that without leaving the freeways much.. since Laura and Michele teach the same kids, it's also been really valuable for Michele to see that she can have the same amount of (or more) control over a classroom as Laura. those two have an additional difficulty.. there are only seven faculty at Trivium, and they are all new. they are making curriculum as they go. everyone else has way more help (at least available), for sure. they both really like their headmaster, though that's true across the board as far as i know. Michele is closest to home of anyone, apparently close enough for her brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law to drive down this weekend! gotta be nice.. overall, i give Michele a solid B+. wait, since when am i grading anyone? nevermind.
Tom Sawyer. by all appearances, Tom is having the easiest and the hardest time right now. he is teaching 8th and 9th maths at Anthem Prep. he knows the stuff he's teaching, and he has a pretty efficient approach to homework. that means minimal time prepping/grading. he also helps coach football, but to the degree that he can skip practices when convenient. it's a good system.. he also just ended a serious relationship about two weeks ago. that's where the hardest part comes in... when you feel like something isn't working, but both people in the relationship are really good people and want the best for each other, it's never an easy decision. you're going to second-guess everything. and Tom is probably the existential-est crisis-er that i know...not a good combo, but he's doing okay. last Saturday a group of us went on a Goodwill spree/scavenger hunt for his birthday, and part of the challenge was to buy something for Tom that he had to wear during the school week. he's taken on the role of weird math teacher spectacularly, so showing up to school the day before parent's night wearing a matching orange-flamed suspender/tie set did not elicit inordinate amounts of surprise from his classes. he did get reminded of the teacher dress code by his headmaster though, for at least the third time. several times a day, Tom will walk though the apartment saying "smoke break?" with varying degrees of urgency or excitement, and sometimes anger if we deny him. he likes company on smoke breaks, and i think i might like having an excuse to smoke.. we've had some really great conversations during those uncomfortably hot sessions outside on our porch, of course with Jon, too, when he's not on the phone with Casey (obligatory shot, sorry).
i've gotta finish this. Scottsdale had an R&R weekend, which means no homework is assigned, which means i gave tests Friday, which don't have any material to cover tomorrow. i'm planning on making up a lecture on what the liberal arts is in all four of my classes. we'll see what happens, eh? after i spontaneously gave Michele a grade, i decided it would be a great way to end this monstrosity of a blog. fitting. controversial. and entirely objective.
Final grades for the first half of the first quarter!!
Alison: B-
Jon: A-
Laura: B
Lauren: A
Michele: B+
Tom: B+
Me? C+ and coming on strong!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Momo the Hobo
i give unannounced reading quizzes at least one day a week. the first time i gave a quiz in a seventh grade class, a lot of the kids asked permission to draw on the back when they were done, before i came around to collect them. i was surprised, but why not? over the first couple weeks, i have morphed the initial request into a weekly-ish speed drawing contest (i purposely give them about 3 extra minutes). i write comments on some and pick the top three. it's not a perfect system yet, but they really care about it. my favorites are usually selected because of originality, humor (usually because of randomness), or skill. this was the winner in 7D today:
"Family Kidnapped by Ninjas. Need $4 for Karate Lessons."
it is beyond impossible to trace thought processes backwards in these drawings. you have no idea what influenced them to draw what they did (although i get a lot of copycats), and i love it. interestingly enough, my eighth grade class has never asked to draw, and i doubt more than a few would be interested if i proposed it. i'm entranced by the differences from one grade to another, even though it's more than partially enabled by the setting — lecture/desk format in seventh compared to seminar/roundtable format in eighth.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
oh-and-one
you cannot fully understand something until you experience it firsthand. you can come close, sometimes. sometimes, you can convince yourself you understand something fully, just by studying it from a distance, but it's just not true. it is true that some things are easier to understand secondhand than others, though.
i remember having a conversation with Sarah (Howard, then) and Kate Olson in The Treehouse about marriage. more specifically, "cold feet." i think it was after watching "Up In The Air".. Sarah agreed with me — it doesn't really matter how much you thought about it leading up to getting married, you could never simulate the same feelings that you'll have when the idea of being married finally becomes real to you. Kate disagreed then, though that was a few years ago.. she argued that avoiding pre-wedding jitters was a matter of willpower; you can prepare yourself by having the right mindset. i tend to think it's that approach which results in the worst outcomes, because those people haven't allowed the possibility of being surprised.
my latest experience with this happened Saturday morning. it was my first game as head coach of the Scottsdale Prep junior high football team. i know a lot of about football and a little about coaching, but i went in knowing it would be a learning experience. thankfully, i had most of the high school staff and several helpful parents on the sidelines with me, or it would have been a disaster.. i can't remember a situation where i've had more information thrown at me in such an urgent, time-sensitive setting. just as an example, my team has 35 players. our league is 8-man tackle, so at any given juncture i have 8 players in the game and 27 players wanting to be in the game. where do you even begin? at the junior high level, a coach has to:
get the right personnel on the field on offense, defense, AND special teams
call plays..either by signaling or sending in calls with a substitute
know down-and-distance at all times
recognize what the opponent is doing/how they're hurting you
substitute often and intelligently
be aware of the clock*
manage time-outs*
know the score*
get all the players in the game
keep the referees honest
stay off the field
keep the off-the-field players off the field
make sure all the players are hydrating
deal with injuries
*more difficult than you might think, with high-scoring games and no scoreboard!
these things are not happening in a neat, organized manner; they are all happening simultaneously, and you never have a second to gather your thoughts, from start to finish.
we lost. it was against Chandler Prep, our biggest rival and the only team to beat Scottsdale last season (twice). they scored the winning touchdown with under 2 minutes left in the game, after we had held the lead nearly the entire second half.
the earlier list was things i knew about, but didn't understand in that context.
some completely unanticipated factors?
1) the heat. it was scorching at 9am, and my best player (on both sides of the ball) ((that means on offense and defense)) left the game with heat exhaustion at halftime, and couldn't return.
2) the players didn't know everyone's names. i would be yelling at Jonny to go in for Greg, and he had no idea who that was. i have names down but not numbers..
3) the refs were antagonistic. they started the game looking for trouble.. they gave the teams 55 seconds between quarters, not even enough time for everyone to get a drink. they flagged me for stepping onto the field to yell a play. on our last drive, they kept the clock running on more than one occasion when the player had gotten out of bounds with forward momentum, and they refused to tell me how many timeouts i had on the final drive.
it was a tough game to lose, and the worst way to lose, but i learned more about coaching football that morning than i have from watching/studying football for years. i'll be more prepared next week, and more prepared the week after that..and when playoff time comes? Chandler Prep is done.
i remember having a conversation with Sarah (Howard, then) and Kate Olson in The Treehouse about marriage. more specifically, "cold feet." i think it was after watching "Up In The Air".. Sarah agreed with me — it doesn't really matter how much you thought about it leading up to getting married, you could never simulate the same feelings that you'll have when the idea of being married finally becomes real to you. Kate disagreed then, though that was a few years ago.. she argued that avoiding pre-wedding jitters was a matter of willpower; you can prepare yourself by having the right mindset. i tend to think it's that approach which results in the worst outcomes, because those people haven't allowed the possibility of being surprised.
my latest experience with this happened Saturday morning. it was my first game as head coach of the Scottsdale Prep junior high football team. i know a lot of about football and a little about coaching, but i went in knowing it would be a learning experience. thankfully, i had most of the high school staff and several helpful parents on the sidelines with me, or it would have been a disaster.. i can't remember a situation where i've had more information thrown at me in such an urgent, time-sensitive setting. just as an example, my team has 35 players. our league is 8-man tackle, so at any given juncture i have 8 players in the game and 27 players wanting to be in the game. where do you even begin? at the junior high level, a coach has to:
get the right personnel on the field on offense, defense, AND special teams
call plays..either by signaling or sending in calls with a substitute
know down-and-distance at all times
recognize what the opponent is doing/how they're hurting you
substitute often and intelligently
be aware of the clock*
manage time-outs*
know the score*
get all the players in the game
keep the referees honest
stay off the field
keep the off-the-field players off the field
make sure all the players are hydrating
deal with injuries
*more difficult than you might think, with high-scoring games and no scoreboard!
these things are not happening in a neat, organized manner; they are all happening simultaneously, and you never have a second to gather your thoughts, from start to finish.
we lost. it was against Chandler Prep, our biggest rival and the only team to beat Scottsdale last season (twice). they scored the winning touchdown with under 2 minutes left in the game, after we had held the lead nearly the entire second half.
the earlier list was things i knew about, but didn't understand in that context.
some completely unanticipated factors?
1) the heat. it was scorching at 9am, and my best player (on both sides of the ball) ((that means on offense and defense)) left the game with heat exhaustion at halftime, and couldn't return.
2) the players didn't know everyone's names. i would be yelling at Jonny to go in for Greg, and he had no idea who that was. i have names down but not numbers..
3) the refs were antagonistic. they started the game looking for trouble.. they gave the teams 55 seconds between quarters, not even enough time for everyone to get a drink. they flagged me for stepping onto the field to yell a play. on our last drive, they kept the clock running on more than one occasion when the player had gotten out of bounds with forward momentum, and they refused to tell me how many timeouts i had on the final drive.
it was a tough game to lose, and the worst way to lose, but i learned more about coaching football that morning than i have from watching/studying football for years. i'll be more prepared next week, and more prepared the week after that..and when playoff time comes? Chandler Prep is done.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
no seconds
everything there is is a first time for.
stop thinking and read. there are no repeat experiences. simply the fact you have "experienced" something once (or a hundred times) changes your next encounter. the only way we could ever justify grouping anything together is by the broadest, blandest concept of "the same."
i've had a real job for almost three weeks. every day has been different. every day will be different. you think i'm naive? i think you're over.
i did something rash today. i opened up to 8B, my third period Medieval History class. I only have one eighth grade class, and they are solid gold. their biggest problem is that they are too quiet. we have class in a seminar format — the 23 of us sit in a big square of tables.. there is so much potential it's been driving me crazy.
the last week and a half i've been genuinely frustrated over that class. by this time, i have a decent idea how to teach my seventh graders: write a lot on the board, review often, and discipline as necessary. but eighth grade? i've been all over the place. they do the homework, know the answers, and never cause trouble.. but, there's no connection.
at some point in the last week, i decided the solution was to make myself more vulnerable. i wanted to tell them i have no teaching experience. it's hard to explain, but i felt like i would almost gain credibility by doing it. i figured i knew the kids well enough by now to predict how they would react, and i decided they would be more comfortable in class. we had a test yesterday, so today seemed like good timing.
we spent about half the class talking about my immediate history, and the other half discussing what it meant to be "awkward." my column from last fall was supplementary reading (This is not awkward, but you are).
i won't lose them. trust me.
stop thinking and read. there are no repeat experiences. simply the fact you have "experienced" something once (or a hundred times) changes your next encounter. the only way we could ever justify grouping anything together is by the broadest, blandest concept of "the same."
i've had a real job for almost three weeks. every day has been different. every day will be different. you think i'm naive? i think you're over.
i did something rash today. i opened up to 8B, my third period Medieval History class. I only have one eighth grade class, and they are solid gold. their biggest problem is that they are too quiet. we have class in a seminar format — the 23 of us sit in a big square of tables.. there is so much potential it's been driving me crazy.
the last week and a half i've been genuinely frustrated over that class. by this time, i have a decent idea how to teach my seventh graders: write a lot on the board, review often, and discipline as necessary. but eighth grade? i've been all over the place. they do the homework, know the answers, and never cause trouble.. but, there's no connection.
at some point in the last week, i decided the solution was to make myself more vulnerable. i wanted to tell them i have no teaching experience. it's hard to explain, but i felt like i would almost gain credibility by doing it. i figured i knew the kids well enough by now to predict how they would react, and i decided they would be more comfortable in class. we had a test yesterday, so today seemed like good timing.
we spent about half the class talking about my immediate history, and the other half discussing what it meant to be "awkward." my column from last fall was supplementary reading (This is not awkward, but you are).
i won't lose them. trust me.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
the first single
i don't know how i feel about web logs. i enjoy observing the way people think, and i definitely like hearing ideas/theories/randomness that has been generated from people i know, but i've never been too impressed with the majority of blogs or bloglike activity.. and honestly, i'm not sure that i offer enough to break out of that majority. perhaps the most daunting aspect of starting a blog is the prospect of finding out exactly how many people want to hear what you think. it's much safer just to think you could have a great blog if you had the time, or even to work for a print newspaper. then you can just assume your personal readership somewhat mirrors the circulation numbers.. and yeah, that's intended to be an unfair shot at all of you real-life journalist-types ;-)
i like to read things that i know i could not have written. when i read an analogy by G.K. Chesterton, or a description by Cormac McCarthy, or a theory by Mark Helprin, or even an random sports-ranking list/obscure pop culture reference by Bill Simmons, and i actually have the thought "i am incapable of producing this" (paraphrased), that's when i really know i'm enjoying it/getting something out of it. so, as someone who is used to writing multiple articles a week for the general public (ha), i evaluated my own writing. what do i offer?
i constantly have to remind myself that there are innumerable ways to write that can be valuable to other people. my way, i decided, is very simple. it has to do more with how i see the world than how i put words together. i analyze how things work, and, with a lot of effort, i can explain my perspective in writing (i'm often incapable in speech). it's not always original, or even entirely correct, but it's the best i've got. so, in order to keep this blog fresh, i need to include those sorts of opinions from time to time.
the difficulty with opinion is consistently being able to relate information that is valuable to someone else. the way i see it, you can find value in a lot of things — almost anything, if you look hard enough. so what's important, as the writer, is to keep a specific purpose in mind. why am i writing this? who am i writing to?
i have my answers.
the overarching theme of my blog is the title, wonderful anarchy. i see meaning and purpose in every little detail of life, and i want to share what i see. the main theme of my theme will be my experiences as a first-year teacher. there may be days when i simply relate a story from class, or a particular instance where i learned the right way the hard way, or even my deepest darkest insecurities about my ability to be a good teacher. i also want to border my personal experience with a broader picture of my friends' experience doing the same-ish thing, but differently — this angle has potential to be the most unique aspect of my blog.
since i graduated in May, my life has been an unending chain of inexplicable events. i look forward to relating more of the details soon, but what's important now is that i have no doubt i'm where i'm supposed to be.
i like to read things that i know i could not have written. when i read an analogy by G.K. Chesterton, or a description by Cormac McCarthy, or a theory by Mark Helprin, or even an random sports-ranking list/obscure pop culture reference by Bill Simmons, and i actually have the thought "i am incapable of producing this" (paraphrased), that's when i really know i'm enjoying it/getting something out of it. so, as someone who is used to writing multiple articles a week for the general public (ha), i evaluated my own writing. what do i offer?
i constantly have to remind myself that there are innumerable ways to write that can be valuable to other people. my way, i decided, is very simple. it has to do more with how i see the world than how i put words together. i analyze how things work, and, with a lot of effort, i can explain my perspective in writing (i'm often incapable in speech). it's not always original, or even entirely correct, but it's the best i've got. so, in order to keep this blog fresh, i need to include those sorts of opinions from time to time.
the difficulty with opinion is consistently being able to relate information that is valuable to someone else. the way i see it, you can find value in a lot of things — almost anything, if you look hard enough. so what's important, as the writer, is to keep a specific purpose in mind. why am i writing this? who am i writing to?
i have my answers.
the overarching theme of my blog is the title, wonderful anarchy. i see meaning and purpose in every little detail of life, and i want to share what i see. the main theme of my theme will be my experiences as a first-year teacher. there may be days when i simply relate a story from class, or a particular instance where i learned the right way the hard way, or even my deepest darkest insecurities about my ability to be a good teacher. i also want to border my personal experience with a broader picture of my friends' experience doing the same-ish thing, but differently — this angle has potential to be the most unique aspect of my blog.
since i graduated in May, my life has been an unending chain of inexplicable events. i look forward to relating more of the details soon, but what's important now is that i have no doubt i'm where i'm supposed to be.
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