at worst, anything is possible.

there’s boatloads of potential in every day.  when you project that potential out to weeks and months, it quickly becomes apparent that, at worst, anything is possible. 

this is the story of how i got here, now.  graduation from Hillsdale in May passed by with no plans following. that wasn’t so bad.  when i make plans, i love being able to start with nothing.  can you realize the possibilities before you? no, no one can.  but, all you need is a starting point. 

my starting point was Las Vegas.  good starting points are beyond your control or imagination, that’s how you know they were meant to be.

my parents invited me to Vegas for the family vacation.  well, it was just outside Vegas, at places like Lake Mead, the Hoover Dam, and "Frontsight Resort" (you HAVE to click on that link, i cannot begin to describe it).  the idea was for our family members to get concealed carry licenses…

when planning, you have to see the big picture.  i hope the idea of going on vacation with my family is always as appealing to me as it has been whilst growing up, but it’s not wrong for it to be appealing beyond family-time.  it was also a voucher for cross-country travel, and a solid foundation to build my immediate future on.  i got a one-way ticket.

i had entertained the idea of making my way to Phoenix later in the summer and helping Lauren and Alison move in/get accustomed to the new environment.  naturally, the Vegas path got me thinking about Phoenix.   Phoenix is, like, right next to Vegas, right? the timing just didn’t work, though.   they weren’t going to be there for several weeks.  Jon and Tom were even later. 

despite what you may think, being spontaneous (successfully) is, in fact, directly correlated to being prepared.  while in the hotel in Vegas, i sent out some feelers.  i talked to Aaron Schepps about visiting him in Phoenix.  i talked to the girls about their plans, i talked to Brian about meeting me in Vegas.  i checked train/bus routes in the Southwest.  i also considered flying to Tennessee for Bonnaroo, but i digress.

given my likelihood of visiting Phoenix at some point, i did some job searching.  i researched think tanks, newspaper/media, and finally, Great Hearts.  thanks to updates from Hillsdale's Career Planning services, i was aware they were still hiring.  i spent a solid hour composing an email to the Great Hearts Academies office,  telling them i may be passing through Phoenix, and asking if i could interview for any open positions (“also, i’m from Hillsdale”).

my family returned home.  we are good at vacationing, i gotta say.  though it’s usually an exhausting experience, it’s also the reason why i can say i’ve been to 49 states.  you enjoy the beach, again, we’ll be white-water rafting down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon.  they left the hotel at 5 a.m. to catch their flight.  i slept in.  it is not the slightest exaggeration to say i had zero “set” plans.  when i got kicked out at check-out, i was going to be in Sin City alone, with no place to stay.  in this type of situation, it’s important to remember to never panic.  think through things, you always have options.

Brian came through.  in the morning neither of us knew if he was coming; he was there by the afternoon.  our original plan of sleeping in a tent at the KOA off the strip fell through due to the fact we both thought the other had the tent.  details matter, sometimes.. we stayed at the Stratosphere.

i got a reply from Great Hearts.  apparently, my email had been forwarded to all the schools (i think there are 14 at this point), and one school was willing to give me an interview.  it was Scottsdale Prep.  i called them from a moving sidewalk in front of the Bellagio, and arranged a time — Tuesday.  i had another set point on my journey, and four days in between.  

it was tempting to hit up L.A. for a night or two before going to Phoenix.  Brian was headed home, and i had friends there.  but i opted for more down time.. know your limits.  besides, if i got the job in Phoenix, L.A. would be permanently a weekend away. 

at 11 p.m. Friday night i boarded a Greyhound from Vegas to Phoenix.  it was an 8-hour journey.  buses might be the only place i can’t sleep. 

Aaron Schepps and his family were the perfect hosts for the three days leading up to my interview (and three days afterward).  this is proven by the fact they also hosted Lauren, Laura, and Michele just before they were hired. well, perfect if you overlook the fact that i needed interview clothes, and none of them are my size. 

this brings me to a clarification.  don’t limit yourself unnecessarily.  if you are backpacking through the desert and encounter a job opportunity, don’t turn it down simply because you don’t have proper attire on.  a legitimate problem should clearly outweigh the opportunity.  clothing is not a legitimate problem, in this case.  

enter Kevin Meyers, who happens to be teaching in Phoenix as well.  my transfer-year-roommate and i have a weird and great relationship, definitely one that i feel comfortable demanding a suit from on short notice.  other options could have been investing in a suit (gotta get one sometime), used clothing stores, or the classic buy/return approach, just as examples.

though you may think i’ve been flippant thus far, i did take this interview seriously.  there is a time for everything.  i spent a good amount of time thinking and praying about the idea of teaching kids.  i called every one of my friends who had already interviewed with Great Hearts. i practically memorized the website.  when the time came, i was ready, relatively. 

the interview went well.  they had another interviewee in right after me, then gave us both a tour of the new building, then offered me the job. 

obviously, my first thought was “it can’t be this easy.”  i had until Friday to decide, i took ‘til Thursday.  i begged Jon and Tom out of their two-bedroom place they had all but signed on.  i visited one apartment complex before leaving town, and it’s the one we’re now living in.  i went from never considering teaching to being a teacher in about two weeks, and i have not second-guessed my decision.  you don't always know what's best for you.     

i flew home, took a goodbye tour of Illinois/Chicago/Hillsdale for just over a week, then packed my things and made the 32-hour drive to the Southwest with my brother Mark.

this whole experience is a big reason why i chose the name “wonderful anarchy” for this blog.  i think it’s a decent example of the common choices we make (free will) forcing a particular outcome (destiny), resulting in a conclusion that could never have been considered beforehand, or fully comprehended afterward (God’s plan).  God has a plan.

when i first met Mr. Schepps, he wondered why i was friends with Aaron, only partially joking.  Aaron was a freshman, i was a senior.  when i got back from that interview, i had an answer for him.

Bon Iver, Bon Iver in Concert.

this is not a review, it's just another blog post.
if you don't know Bon Iver's music, i don't know what to tell you.  keep reading? 
or, watch this.
"Skinny Love" live on Jools Holland
or, this.
La Blogotheque's take on "For Emma, Forever Ago"

it began in June.  i had just been hired to teach, and i was in the library in Hillsdale finishing unfinished business.  Brian called me.

“Bon Iver is in concert in Phoenix in September.”

we got tickets.  four of them, total. 

fast forward to last Wednesday.  Brian wasn’t going to be one of the four; it just couldn’t work out.  he mailed me the tickets.  they didn’t arrive. 

Thursday, the day of the concert, also Guatemala's Independence Day.  Brian, from Dallas, had been working on a solution.  the four — Lauren, Alison, me, and Jon — had been working on work. 

Brian came through, of course, and emailed me a link to print the tickets.  just a few hours later i got another text from him:

“I will be at the phx airport at 330.  I would like to go to a bon iver and fleet foxes concert with my besties.  Can someone pick me up? This is not a joke.  Dreams come true”


..gotta love him.

Lauren ended up being “someone”.  so, a few hours later i find myself packed into Al’s Hyundai Sonata with five  (Tom supplying the fifth) of my favorite people, driving to a concert of one of my favorite artists. 

afterward, Stefany asked me to sum up the experience in one word.  after too much thought, i went with “fulfilling.” 

it started in the car.  we weren’t teachers.  i didn’t have to write two tests before my first class.  it was the perfect release.  those moments where you don’t have a care in the world get rarer and rarer, and this one was long overdue, by my count. 

Jon scalped a ticket.  Tom got in.  Michele and Laura had purchased tickets independently, so we were all there, but the seats were all spread out. 

funny thing with me and concerts — i always go with friends, but i often get lost within my own experience.  it happened again.

a long time ago i decided that if a concert had a general admission area/floor, then i would be there, in the front.  the experience simply cannot be matched.  many people hate the idea of fighting for every inch against masses of sweaty people who will do anything to get closer.  i love it.

i’ve been in mosh-pits where blood was spilled.  i’ve crowd-surfed.  i’ve gotten drum sticks, guitar picks, set lists, and the occasional autograph.  don’t try to tell me it’s better to be anywhere else but the very front.

the problem is getting there. 

i use various approaches, including stealth, force, and trickeration.  i really tried to get someone to come with me, but they weren’t quite up for it, this time.  i’ll admit, it was harder than i expected to get past security.  long story short, i faked my way to the front row of the assigned seats, waited a few minutes, and then jumped the railing when the lights dimmed between songs.  i ran into the crowd and never looked back.  this was during the Fleet Foxes show, and by the time Bon Iver came on stage, i had made friends in the front row. 

i think i will have a post later discussing my approach to morality, if anyone’s interested.  for now, try to abate your concern..

the concert was awesome, naturally.  i don’t have the right words to describe it right now, unfortunately.  Justin Vernon looked like Ian Moss.  During “Blood Bank” the whole set was drowned in red light.  it was not the best concert of all-time, but it was what i wanted, and what i needed.  there were times where i just closed my eyes and swayed and tried to take everything in, tried futilely to comprehend what anything meant.  one did i did determine is that "Beth/Rest" is not a joke, as has been proposed by the Golden sisters.  for me, the highlight was probably during "Wolves", when they had the crowd sing "What might have been lost" over and over.  it grew louder and louder, and i just knew that each person singing had a different experience they were dwelling on as they yelled the words all the way to a crescendo-ing scream.  i'm sure it wasn't a highlight unique to me — there's a reason they chose that section of that song at that point..   two things could have made it better: more songs from “For Emma, Forever Ago”, and any sort of encore.  you have to do an encore, Justin!  no one is above the law of encores.  

well, here's the set list ;-P

he played "Skinny Love" lastly, and i left the theatre with the words stuck in my head.


"now all your love is wasted, then who the hell am i?..."

mourning person

my phone rings at 5:29 a.m.  it’s Lauren.

i ignore it, but send a text. 

“?”

“Al’s car won’t start.  i figured you’d be up.”

she was right — i was up.  i’m usually awake by 5:30, but the fact that someone EXPECTED me to be up at that time really drove the point home.  things have changed.

in college, the only thing that would get me up that early was the urgency of a test i wasn’t prepared for (or free Grand Slams at Denny's). 

now, the feeling is the same.  the first thing i do every morning is go over my mental checklist of things i HAVE to do before my first class.  having a "test" every day will weigh you down.  each day it gets incrementally harder to respond to my alarm(s) (this is what helped me appreciate the secret math behind holidays like Labor Day.  not only is it an extra day of the weekend, it is also a day off of the work week.  a simple one-day holiday results in a tangible two-day improvement for everyone.  it's beautiful!).  unfortunately, the next holiday is a ways off..  

i've always hated waking up, for as far back as i can remember.  there's a reason this is the first full-time/early-morning job i've had — i played my cards right.  the only thing worse than waking up is waking up cold, in a drafty room at the back of 224 N. Manning Street.  nah, actually that was never so bad...*wistful sigh*..brief foray into memories of mornings in the Moon...focus!

the summer before senior year i decided to become a "morning person".  i knew my college approach to sleeping was unsustainable, and i'm not really into resisting the inevitable.  my attempt was relatively unsuccessful in practice, but i did work though what it was that made someone a morning person.  i think, at the core, it's just an excitement to start a new day, and a desire to get the most out of it.  i identify with that.  that was a start.

the difference between realizing it's desirable to be a morning person and actually waking up before 6 every day is pretty simple: incentives.  i've recently started thinking of college as an exercise in opportunity cost (realizing what you give up when you choose to do one thing over another).  it's a great way to develop your decision-making in an environment with few variables.  basically, what do you do when you don't HAVE to do anything?  of course, as Tom would be quick to remind you, and has informed his 7th graders, you don't HAVE to do ANYTHING, except die. that's not the point, though.     

when your alarm is going off for your 8 o'clock biology lab, it's not a disaster if you silence it and roll over.  it's your decision, and, theoretically, most of the consequences are directed at you.  what happens if i were to do that now, however, might just be categorized as a disaster.  i literally can't imagine the consequences of not showing up to school without warning.  the effects of my action (or lack thereof) spill over onto other people.  the result? i get up when my alarm goes off.  thankfully i appreciate the added incentive, instead of resenting it.  it's crazy how much you can accomplish in a day that starts at 5:30 and ends after midnight..  

on a side note, this opportunity-cost experiment is one of the few reasons that college graduates are still significantly favored by employers.  in most cases your degree doesn't help you do the job you're hired for, but your GPA and extra-curricular accomplishments tell them how motivated you are.  college degrees separate smart, ambitious people from just smart people. any objections?


oh, and even though i was awake for Al's early morning car emergency, i had no time to help.  she got a ride to school and we tackled the problem (dead battery) in the afternoon.  


wanna hear a teacher knock-knock joke?..
"knock, knock"
"who's there?"
"to."
"to who?"
"to whom!"

getting personal

one way to make people read your blog is to write about them, or friends of theirs.  this post is going to be an update, from my perspective, of how my friends are faring after 4 weeks of teaching.

my goal is to be more original than a quick update from them, and more exciting.  i'm trying to walk the line between things they wouldn't tell you in the typical conversation, and things they wouldn't want me to say.  line-walking rarely succeeds.

alphabetically, shall we?

Alison Roberts.  probably will be the most uncomfortable with me doing this, and probably for the best reasons.  Alison teaches 8th/9th Latin at Glendale Prep, and has few complaints.  she has a knack (bordering on need) for seeing everything that happens as a positive.  this is valuable, because it's true that our perceptions can dictate reality. but, it's also a little dangerous, because she can have trouble realizing when something really isn't good.  for example, i've teased her quite a bit for volunteering to be an assistant cross country coach.. which means morning practices throughout the week AND weekend! it's gotta be some swimmer complex..  still, her loyalty to her new school is impressive.   Great Hearts expects teachers to help with extracurriculars, and since Glendale doesn't have a swim team, she found another area in which to contribute.  she's probably done the best job of getting into community outside other Hillsdalians.  her main trouble is just lately, being forced to watch (via Facebook) her younger friends restarting their lives at Hillsdale without her, which obviously is normal for any graduates who had an incredible college experience and incredible non-senior friends.  i think she may be afraid that teaching Latin could get boring, but whether that's admittable, i don't know.  also of note, she's a young single Catholic teacher at a school with more than a few young single Catholic teachers of the opposite sex.  though it's not a perfect comparison, i feel obligated to pass on someone else's observation that Alison's experience with the Glendale Prep staff "must be something like what Lynzy Elzinga experienced at Hillsdale."  the main problem i see is a vast majority of Hillsdale's guys were scared to talk to Lynzy...these guys' approach to women is slightly more direct than either of them experienced at Hillsdale, i imagine.

Jon Gregg.  the only one of us teaching upperclassmen in high school, and the only one prepping for three classes: 8th, 10th, 11th, and 12th maths (8th/10th are the same material).  he's doing fine, though,  naturally.  Glendale Prep started a few days earlier than the rest of us, and Jon had himself a pretty awful first day experience: he forgot to wear a belt, came back for it during second period to find himself locked out (with no cell phone), went to the apartment office to get a key, but got in only to eventually realize that Tom had worn his belt that day.  to top it off he burnt his fingers badly cooking his meal .  still, all of that happened on Day 1 and he just focused on how well the in-class experience went compared to the rest.  he had a little trouble with writing his first test (and most of us did) — his kids couldn't finish it in class.  it wasn't a big deal, i only mention it because i'm sure there are people out there wondering if there's anything Jon can't do.  he is also coaching the Glendale middle school volleyball B-team (there is a C-team too, to his credit).  he doesn't complain, but i think there are things he'd rather be doing.  still, Jon is really good at realizing how things are and making the best of it.  Tom and i talk about coaching football pretty often, and Jon usually has a good way to tie in our experience teaching how to pick up a blitz with how many girls cried that day at his practice. in addition to the normal teacher/coach commitments, he's also been figuring out how to manage a serious and seriously long-distance relationship, AND watch Twins games online (though they're like 100 games back).

Laura Golden.  she has the most odds stacked against her, and might be having the hardest time.  that's not to say she is struggling, but rather that her accomplishments are that much more impressive.  her and Michele both work at Trivium Prep, a first year school.  that means that none of their students are used to the Great Hearts approach: dress code, discipline, work load, etc. (same goes for Michele). BUT, Laura is teaching 6th fine arts and 7th lit/comp.  so not only does she have to deal with more problem students than the rest of us, she has to teach them grammar.  Laura teaching grammar is like me teaching Ancient History.. not only that, but Laura probably feels the most displaced.  as you know, she's a Southerner (as is Alison, but Al had 6 months to get used to the idea). Laura was planning on moving to Nashville up until a month before getting hired here. Southerners are known for close families, and Laura's closest family is the farthest away (in South America for five weeks).  that being said,  Laura has some things going for her.  she actually had teaching experience before we started (unlike myself, Tom, or Michele).  she has Lynzy moving in with her and Michele by the end of the month, further enhancing her long-time dream of adventuring to a new place with college/life-long friends and rejecting the "real-life" doldrums.  and she has her priorities straight. she made the first and biggest purchase of the gang so far — a 42" flatscreen and surround sound system.  right now her biggest concern is finding somewhere to watch Auburn football, since her cousin is the starting quarterback and she doesn't have cable.

Lauren Demianiuk.  irrepressible, this one.  she's having a significantly different experience than the rest of us.  Lauren is a 3rd grade teacher at Veritas Archway.  she has her own classroom, and a teaching assistant who's probably twice her age.  she spent a large percentage of her classroom budget on a 6' x 9' map of the world, and has never regretted it.  she has the same 29 kids for the whole day (five classes plus change).  her stories are completely unlike our stories.  i don't know how excited she was going into it (i think she'd rather have older classes and teach German), but she is giving it everything she's got.  she's definitely logged the most hours working at her school, of any of us.  i've told her to relax because she can't mess up third-graders, but she's not settling (she is, however, planning on teaching them Kafka?!).  just last week i gave her and Jon a tour of my school, and the main thing she noticed were things in the 5th-grade classrooms that she didn't have.  honestly, she probably obsesses over it a more-than-healthy amount.  the classroom teachers have a lot more preparation (five classes compared to two-three), but a lot less grading (29 kids compared to 88+).  besides aiming at being the best third-grade teacher at Great Hearts, she also has jumped right into other areas that i haven't even given thought to yet.  she's had other faculty over to her and Al's place for dinner (one time i even got invited!),  and she's managed to maintain a decent workout regimen (last i heard).  although they were both a little too obsessed with being perfect for each other at the very beginning, Lauren and Alison make a great roommate duo.  they've invested everything in their respective schools right at the start, but unfortunately that means we see them the least.

Michele Philbrook.  i have the least information to speculate on with Michele, which i just realized.  she was the last hire, and teaches 6th grade American History and 7th Fine Arts at Trivium Prep with Laura.  though she hadn't planned to teach, she is well-equipped to teach fine arts.  in fact, i think she may like it because it legitimizes her as an artist in a way..  she is artistic but often feels like she has to prove it, which makes sense in her case..  she was an art minor (and i had to ask to verify that, which proves my point haha).. and some of her friends are well-known for being artistic, so she's been in their shadows to some degree.  but if she can teach art and do a good job, that's worth a lot, both in her head and others'.  part of being artistic means that Michele complains about everything being chain stores in Phoenix.  i make fun of her because she seems to have decided that without leaving the freeways much..   since Laura and Michele teach the same kids, it's also been really valuable for Michele to see that she can have the same amount of (or more) control over a classroom as Laura.  those two have an additional difficulty.. there are only seven faculty at Trivium, and they are all new.  they are making curriculum as they go.  everyone else has way more help (at least available), for sure.  they both really like their headmaster, though that's true across the board as far as i know.  Michele is closest to home of anyone, apparently close enough for her brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law to drive down this weekend! gotta be nice..  overall, i give Michele a solid B+.  wait, since when am i grading anyone? nevermind.

Tom Sawyer.  by all appearances, Tom is having the easiest and the hardest time right now.  he is teaching 8th and 9th maths at Anthem Prep.  he knows the stuff he's teaching, and he has a pretty efficient approach to homework.  that means minimal time prepping/grading.  he also helps coach football, but to the degree that he can skip practices when convenient.  it's a good system.. he also just ended a serious relationship about two weeks ago.  that's where the hardest part comes in... when you feel like something isn't working, but both people in the relationship are really good people and want the best for each other, it's never an easy decision.  you're going to second-guess everything.  and Tom is probably the existential-est crisis-er that i know...not a good combo, but he's doing okay.  last Saturday a group of us went on a Goodwill spree/scavenger hunt for his birthday, and part of the challenge was to buy something for Tom that he had to wear during the school week.  he's taken on the role of weird math teacher spectacularly, so showing up to school the day before parent's night wearing a matching orange-flamed suspender/tie set did not elicit inordinate amounts of surprise from his classes.  he did get reminded of the teacher dress code by his headmaster though, for at least the third time.  several times a day, Tom will walk though the apartment saying "smoke break?" with varying degrees of urgency or excitement, and sometimes anger if we deny him.  he likes company on smoke breaks, and i think i might like having an excuse to smoke.. we've had some really great conversations during those uncomfortably hot sessions outside on our porch, of course with Jon, too, when he's not on the phone with Casey (obligatory shot, sorry).


i've gotta finish this.  Scottsdale had an R&R weekend, which means no homework is assigned, which means i gave tests Friday, which don't have any material to cover tomorrow.  i'm planning on making up a lecture on what the liberal arts is in all four of my classes.  we'll see what happens, eh?  after i spontaneously gave Michele a grade, i decided it would be a great way to end this monstrosity of a blog. fitting.  controversial.  and entirely objective.

Final grades for the first half of the first quarter!!
Alison: B-
Jon:  A-
Laura: B
Lauren: A
Michele: B+
Tom: B+
Me? C+ and coming on strong!