memory triggers

you must be anticipating my next job update, right? well, no news yet. sorry. SPA has a new headmaster though, more on that later. and my sand volleyball team placed 3rd in the tournament.

i'm wildly nostalgic, and i have been obsessed with memory for as long as i can remember.  forget opposable thumbs and the ability to reason — memory is the one thing that allows us to be human.  what good is anything else, if you don't have memory?

i hate the idea of forgetting.  there is nothing more hopeless than forgetting, or losing memory.  the very definition implies you can't ever track what you forget.  who could ever know how much they have forgotten?

A review/memory game from Medieval History — line up at the board and write a term unique to the chapter.  If you can't think of one, you sit down.  Last student standing wins/goes up against me.  My 8th-graders made me proud and filled up the entire white board!

the last few years, and especially this latest year, have taught me a lot about how memory works.  i've started to expect a flood of unremembered memories every time i go home, or have a conversation with an old friend.  sometimes it's something completely unpredictable, however.  there could be smells, or sounds, or experiences that trigger an old memory without any warning or expectation.  as i use my mind to observe and analyze how my mind works, i've started trying to find ways to manipulate my memory.

i think i have a particular connection with music.  i've starting making playlists for certain periods of my life, because i associate certain songs with particular experiences.  it can be a very strong connection, and as long as i don't over-do it, i can continue coming back to a song and get the same rush of remembrance.

my newest thing? "memory triggers".  the basic idea is very similar to a time capsule.  instead of physical objects, i leave things behind in pictures.  specifically, pictures that i know i will come back to one day.  the items don't even have to be related to the pictures itself; in fact, it's better if they aren't.  the idea is simple.  down the road a ways, i'll look at one of these pictures for a particular reason, and i will be pleasantly surprised for additional reasons.

example.  we just took our sand volleyball team picture.  i chose to include two "triggers".  first, i'm wearing Hannah Gregg's Raybans that she left when she visited Jon.  hopefully, when i dig up that photo years from now, i will see the sunglasses and remember something (anything) i had forgotten, like when i mis-dealt four straight times while playing euchre, or the failure to identify the octopus garden.  it's important to note that it doesn't have to be a huge life event i'm "triggering", those tend to find other ways of being preserved.  i like the little things.  the details.

similarly, i rolled up my sleeves in the team picture to reveal that my forearms had some writing on them.  during study hall earlier in the day, a student had asked to draw something on my hand, and it quickly turned into a mass graffiti session.  again, i'm not trying to remember something specific.  just anything more than nothing.  maybe i'll remember a particular student, or maybe i'll remember something from that particular day, or maybe i'll just wonder why i let kids draw on my arms.

essentially, it takes little effort (including a trigger in a picture), with the potential of a high payoff (if you value memory as much as i do).  as you probably know, triggering one memory can lead to an entire motherlode of other memories, related or not.

so by now you're asking how a cold-blooded ruthless economist could be this sentimental.  i don't have an answer for you.. i realize this whole idea will seem silly to a lot of people.  some people would rather forget their past and are obsessed with moving forward, but i can't imagine carrying on without bringing my past with me. it's going to get more and more difficult as the "past" grows.  the life i lead is not the easiest path, but it is one i have chosen.