Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Sports, man, ship.

This is intended to be a rant that I often start and rarely get to finish.  In fact, I may have never gotten my point across.  Hence, the writing.

Let's start with a moving picture show!  You like moving picture shows, verdad?

Here is the set-up. There is a organization that publishes commercials promoting various values.  Values.com.  If you go to the website, this is the intro to the clip promoting "sportsmanship":

"When the game is on the line we find out what kind of character we really have. In the heat of a championship basketball game a young man makes a decision that affects his entire team." 

Link to "Sportmanship" spot click on this now after reading that up there.

Heart-warming.  The comments beneath the video say as much.

"Still one of your greatest spots! What a powerful message for our troubled youth! This should be shown in every school in America! Gripping!"
-jhon from California

"While watching this video, my mind has been opened up to the concept of sportsmanship. I can't help but to tear up in this. Thank you for such an inspirational, thought out video." *

—Cc from USA
...
...
...
I hate it.  

Have you watched it yet?  You really need to watch it before you read on.  

Growing up, I don't think my mother was ever within sight/earshot of a TV commercial without making a disparaging comment and walking off disgustedly.  Maybe that skepticism rubbed off, because one thing I've noticed about my friend group is a habit of picking apart every advertisement thrown our way.  This is different, though.  I want this commercial (and Values.com) to be well-received, and I think they are shooting themselves in the thigh.  So, it's a frustrated sort of hatred.

http://www.values.com/inspirational-stories-tv-spots/106-Basketball

Is now a good time for this picture?  


I love making things difficult for myself.
Again, this is the type of statement where people don't really wait for an explanation before they condemn you.  I do pick my shirt statements carefully, nevertheless, and I think my teammanship record is defensible, so I was okay with getting judged for this shirt (at the time).  I wouldn't wear it now.  Speaking of which, I saw a shirt at the Nike outlet yesterday which read... well... THIS....."The Perfect Role Model." 

Does Nike realize how hilarious it is that if you wanted to eliminate potential role models by sight alone, you could start with anyone wearing that shirt? I suspect they do, but they know it will sell.  Or maybe the masses' idea of a role model is extraordinarily different than my own.  

I would wear it, but I wouldn't anyone expect anyone to slow down and listen to why it's okay to wear it because of the beautiful, "perfect" irony.  "No, see, I'm perfect because I recognize I'm not perfect!"  If a kid recognizes that as a desirable trait in a role model, he doesn't need a role model.  I'll stop there.

On a similar note, I have a shirt that reads "LEGEND" across the back.  It was a gift from a girls IM flag football team I coached at Hillsdale, and I truly, genuinely appreciate it.  It also makes me look like a d-bag when I wear it.  

Where was I going with this?  Uhhm, so I was hating on sportsmanship which led to hating on Nike which led to...LEGEND.  The point is, don't make up your mind before you hear my explanation!    

Back on track.  

I hate that commercial.  Here's why.

1) It completely misunderstands the roles of players and referees.

2) It wouldn't happen in real life.

One.  Referees are trained and paid to officiate games so they can enforce the rules as accurately and unbiased-ly as humanly possible.  Their purpose is rule-enforcement.  They don't care whether players break rules on purpose or by accident, they enforce the same either way.
On the other side, the players train and participate so they can win the competition.  Their strategies are centered around the rules and their strategies assume the rules are enforced accurately.

The roles are clearly defined.  Referees don't play, and players don't referee.  Just to project this point out logically, a player making the deciding call on a out-of-bounds ball could be compared to a referee purposefully physically interfering with live play.  You can't even imagine what that would look like.  Maybe this will help..


See?! Weird.

Two.  A ref would never change his call based on what a player told him.  Think about it.  Referees severely disapprove of players making calls, even calls that agree with them.  When I played, I would get in trouble for making the traveling sign after a player obviously traveled and the referee is simultaneously making the traveling call.  I would be agreeing with the call, and I would still get reprimanded.  They cannot allow the idea they are agreeing with a player's opinion, because it would totally undermine their respectability.  Ask any ref what they do if they don't know who the ball touched last.  In that situation, it's better to make a demonstrative call either way than show a sign of uncertainty.  They would never ask a player (or coach or fan or anyone), irregardless of that player's honesty or sportsmanship.

So, the commercial.

The ball goes out of bounds in a close game with seconds left.  The ref makes the call.  Maybe he's wrong.  As far as the players go, it doesn't matter.  That's a risk you take when you allow rules to be enforced by flawed, imperfect humans.  Theoretically, players and fans should understand that, coming in.  Theoretically.  Maybe someone should remind them...  It's often referred to as the "human element" by announcers discussing blown calls.  People make mistakes.  Referees are no different.  Just as players gain credibility by winning, referees gain credibility by making correct calls.  If you consistently make bad calls, you aren't going to last very long as a referee.  Maybe you ruin a few games before you figure it out, but you certainly won't be reffing any important games if you have a questionable record.

I've been a referee.  It's one of the occupations that come to mind as being MORE thankless than teaching.  It's awful.  Every person watching thinks they are better than you, and with every call you anger half the audience.  Zero sympathy, ever.  You couldn't pay me enou— no, I have a price.  I could be Dick Bevetta.

Anyway, the "human element" is slowly being phased out of competition at the highest levels.  We have all sorts of replay technology, and it's being used more and more often.  I have mixed feelings, but it'll be a long time before that technology is utilized at more than a tiny percentage of overall competitions.  I'll move on.

Not that I'm cynical, but that referee at the end who (theoretically) changes the call would probably assume the player is trying to point-shave or throw the game purposefully before he would assume the player is showing "good sportsmanship".  Either way, no way he changes the call.

Quick anecdote.

My sophomore year of high school basketball had some of the best memories.  One memory in particular applies.  We were down four points to a rival at home with a minute or so left.  I had taken a three on our earlier possession, and thought I was fouled.  It wasn't called, and I, being a sophomore, dissolved into a sophomoric mess.  The opposing team had grabbed the rebound, then missed two free throws.  Our stud senior point guard, Caleb Wood, drove down the court and forced a three-pointer with 8.5 seconds left.  He hadn't made one all year (am I wrong, Caleb?).  He was fouled.  It was called.  And yes, you can be a stud point guard without a decent three-point shot.  That's why he made all three free throws!  Eight seconds left, and they are inbounding the ball.  We, naturally, are pressuring the inbounds pass, hoping for a steal or a quick foul.  The inbounder waits, looks, then launches a pass to my side of the court, near the intersection of half court and out of bounds on the (my) left.  I read his eyes, took a step, leaped, and quickly and athletically determined that it was going over my head.  I turned in the air to see Caleb streaking across my field of vision and knocking the pass down.  Stud.  He gained possession and planted his outside foot inches from the out-of-bounds line to halt his significant momentum. I can still see his sneakers, the brief window of inbound hardwood, and the black line. Oh, and his horrendous, home-schooled socks.  Then, his planted food slid.  It slid over the line and several inches beyond.  I froze, my mind stuck between elation (steal!) and remorse (aw, shucks, we would have a chance to win this game if only Caleb's shoe had slightly better traction).  Caleb started dribbling.  I remained frozen.  I looked to the ref for the whistle.  Nothing. Surely. They. He. But. How? The ref hadn't seen it.

In the video, Caleb starts dribbling toward me, and I can't move.  It's funny.  He literally has to yell at me and gesture to get out of his way.  I look broken.  He dribbles around me to the right side of the court, down to the baseline, down the baseline, and takes a running floater over two players as the buzzer sounds.  It drops in, and that moment is preserved forever as the loudest I will ever hear a crowd cheer for a team of which I am a part.  It was a roar.  Not everyone gets to hear a roar.  I couldn't appreciate it, though, because I'm still standing where I was, broken.  I had even forgotten the score, and thought we were going into overtime.  We had won, though, as Caleb scored 5 unanswered points in 8.5 seconds.

Now.  Where does sportsmanship play into that experience?  Caleb didn't know he had gone out, but what if he had?  Should he have made the call for the refs?  Should I?  I say no.  There are a plethora of ways to exhibit good sportsmanship, and none of them involve players doing the referees' job.

I stumbled across a quote somewhat recently which summarizes this dilemma and makes me think of Caleb every time I hear it.

“The man who wins may have been counted out several times, but he didn’t hear the referee."  H.E. Jansen

I don't know who this guy is, and neither does the internet.  I suppose I should take it as my own.

Ever-qualifying, I will add that these thoughts don't apply to self-refereed competitions.  There, you make your own calls, and sportsmanship is a crucial variable in that process.

Values.com is trying to do a good thing, and does that thing with some degree of effectiveness.  I hate the idea that they could have the initiative and resources to complete such a project, then screw it up in the delivery. How they deliver this particular message inhibits their potential effectiveness, in my opinion. Their target audience (young athletes) is the group most likely to be as skeptical as I am. If the marketer doesn't "get" how sports work, the value is lost.  Everyone who understands basketball is distracted by the lack of realism and, as a result, can't focus on the point.  That's all that I'm saying.  I'm tempted to segue into a rant about Zac Effron's basketball scene in High School Musical, but that's neither here nor there.

If you feel like reading another argument against something most people wouldn't dare to question, check out THIS article.  It argues a "Christian" genre of music shouldn't exist, and does a swell job.  Tough sell, bro.

5 Reasons to Kill Christian Music

*What are the odds this comment was posted by an employee of Values.com?  Is there a value that applies to spamming your own content with homer comments?  It definitely says something about Values.com marketers or its fan-base.  It's just so positive! And sweepingly specific!  Even the grammar is solid, minus one missing hyphen, and those confuse everyone.**

**This footnote was influenced by The Sports Guy.

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